Dash's All New Cheap Diet (barking and scratching optional)

Dash evidently came up with a new money-saving diet plan:  eating the dog's food.

Of course, I don't think Skeet and Riley are too keen on it, nor evidently is the woman at PetSmart.....

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Happy Birthday Tammi!

And many many more!  Not to mention maybe one of these showing up in real life!

(Oddy gets the best presents, I can't top her!)

Posted by: caltechgirl at 08:51 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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1:00 AM

Yeah, I know, why am I up this late?

It's hot as hell and I'm freaking pissed, that's why. Today was full of those little annoyances that make us all want to slash our wrists every once in a while. I woke up with a backache. Then I was late for work AND I had to go to the gas station. Finally I get on the freeway, and there are more frigging trucks than I have ever seen, and I freaking hate playing dodge-a-truck. Nearly missed the exit.

Then, as if there weren't already too few parking spaces, a bunch of jackasses evidently didn't understand what the lines were for, one of them in 2 HANDICAPPED spaces. I'm guessing that particular assclown got his blue placard for being mentally handicapped.

I go to the lab to talk to my student, but she's later than I am, and there's no point in me sticking around. So I go over to my office. Did I mention it was hot?

I go into my office and settle in, putting out the usual fires, answering emails, dealing with a couple of projects that are ongoing in the department and the college. Things are going ok. I eat lunch and chat a bit with my colleagues who share the lab space.

About 2 pm I look down and there is a steady stream of ants crossing my floor. Mind you, this is hardly new. My office is on the ground floor and they've been doing a lot of landscaping work recently. However, I just had an invasion 2 weeks ago, and I about soaked the place in what is supposed to be a 3-month repellant. We're prepared for this, and I go get the industrial sized bottle of ant spray.

Turns out they were coming in from the one place I hadn't sprayed: the port jacks. There's a small wallplate on the far wall of my office with the phone and ethernet jacks. They were coming out the holes, down the ethernet cord, and along the floor, nicely arcing around my chair to the trash, which contained yesterday's coffee grounds, and a box with some granola bars, which interestingly enough, they couldn't get into.

I soaked the wall and the floor with spray and the carried the trash all the way through the building to the outside trash can. Then I washed the now dead ants remaining off the trash can in the bathroom.

I couldn't take the fumes, so I hit the road. I'm not even on the freeway yet when our business manager calls my cell phone..... Grrr. Thank God for hands free. And why God is traffic always so bad on Friday? The same number of people leave work every other day of the week.

By the time I get home, I feel like I'm crawling with bugs even though there are no ants on me, so I email my business manager and go up to the shower. Afterwards, I lay down for a nap, and Hubby says, "I'll take the dog out". When I wake up an hour later, neither of them is apparent either by sight or sound. I of course freak out. To which I get answered with "Are you hungry, I'm making dinner"

Why is it that men will double check the most insignificant detail that they CAN NOT fuck up 400 hundred times (pasta sauce, I have no preference as I only buy what I like) but the thing that is wrong they'll just merrily carry on with and not even bother to ask (the pasta)???

ARRRRGH

And now he's upstairs snoring away as he fell asleep in the middle of a conversation, as usual, and doesn't seem to understand that not only is it FUCKING RUDE, but that it's the same thing that ALWAYS bothers me. I doubt he has any idea I'm not there.

I wish I could sleep like that.

But for all of these annoyances, I count my blessings. He's an idiot, but he's sleeping in my bed. And the Princess is up there too, and I have Air Conditioning and on and on. And the best part is that tomorrow I get to start over from square one. Hopefully sans backache.

Posted by: caltechgirl at 01:21 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Happy Happy!

It's the Big 3-0 for sarahk, and she's not having the best day, despite some awesome presents!

Go give her some love!

And Happy Belated 31 to my favorite NC phishy!

Posted by: caltechgirl at 10:53 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Happy, Happy!

Happy Birthday to AWTM and Rave!

I would have gotten you presents, but I think you've already got your hands full.....

Posted by: caltechgirl at 11:52 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The perfect sendoff

Thanks, Chris.  He would have been so pleased.  Of course, he would have made fun of it the whole time.

It's amazing how someone you've never met can mean so much to your life.  Especially someone as f'ed up as Rob.  But he made me laugh everyday, he sent biting little emails designed to knock me out of my happy place, and he MEANT it when he called me darlin'.

One of the finest compliments I've received in blogging was being asked to cover for him while he was in Willingway, and so many of the blogfriends I've made, I've made through Rob.  He touched a lot of people.

Sam and Quinton, your daddy was a lot of things, many of them not great, but he was a gifted writer and musician, and his unique perspective meant a lot to a lot of people.  I hope that in time you'll be blessed by this and you'll come to value the gift that he leaves behind in his archives.  Most kids don't get to look into their parent's thoughts, but you have a treasure trove of pieces of your Dad's life.  I hope that his writings show you how much he loved you and your uncle and your grandmother and great-grandmother, because family was clearly the best thing in his life.

I will miss him more than I should, I think, and when next I lift a glass, it will be in his memory.  Godspeed, Aciddude.

And Rob would have loved this, too.

Posted by: caltechgirl at 09:54 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Sad News

My evil Fairy blogfather, Rob Smith, also known as Acidman of Gut Rumbles, passed away this morning.

Not many details are available.

My thoughts and prayers are with his daughter Sam and son Quinton, who I know will miss him very much.

I'll miss you, you lousy cracker son-of-a-bitch.  And I regret that I never was able to meet you and buy you a drink (back in the day when you actually partook).

If Rob was a part of your life, let Sam know, and leave her a comment here.

Posted by: caltechgirl at 10:56 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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They grow up so fast!

My darling blog-child celebrates (real life) birthday number 50 today!

Happy Birthday, Paul, and many many more!

Drop by and leave him a note, would you?

Posted by: caltechgirl at 08:54 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Skool's out for summer....

Taking today off to help hubby clean out his classroom.  He has to be done by 12:30 or so.  And then he gets something like 4 weeks off before he starts a summer workshop.  At least he's getting paid for it!

Posted by: caltechgirl at 10:33 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Weird

So yesterday was a BP day for me.  As in HIGH BP.

-- Talking about this bullsh*t

--F*cking Dodger game next Friday is sold out in 2 days

--F*cking Hurricanes lose in OT

--Goddamn pissy bastard at Wal-Mart trying to tell me that the garden center is closed 45 seconds after the storewide announcement: "The Garden Center will be closing in 5 minutes."(presumably at 9pm)   THEN he shows me his watch and says, "See??  It's 9:01".  My response: "That's not my problem.  Get the person who makes the PA announcements to set her clock forward".  His manager told him to ring me up and the 3 ladies behind me who also wanted to leave from the garden center.  His response?  "But I never got my break".  Whiny asshole.

--I had this dream last night where something happened, and DH knew what it was, but I was prevented from seeing it by him (not a bad thing, though), and no one would tell me what was going on.  I kept asking, and no one would answer me.  The last thing I remember is punching Ben in the face repeatedly for smirking, talking to other people, and not answering me.  I also remember considering jumping up on the coffee table and firing a gun into the ceiling to get people's attention.  Then I woke up with fists clenched and really pissed off.  Ask my DH.  He thought I was gonna punch him.

Moral of the story?  Don't F*ck with Wendy Testaburger.

Posted by: caltechgirl at 09:54 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Update to yesterday

Yesterday actually ended up pretty good.  I got some business taken care of, I had a good meeting with my boss, traffic was decent, and I got new seat covers for my car.

Any of you with leather seats (not by my choice, this was the car they had on the lot with the other features I wanted) will understand that summer + leather seats = ouch.  The old sheepskin seat cover had seen better days, so we went to Target last night and replaced it.  Yay!

Then my hubby took me out to dinner   What a nice guy.

Posted by: caltechgirl at 10:46 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Damn Good Day!

I woke up to hear that dookie Golden Boy and probably 1st-round NBA pick JJ Redick was busted for DWI (that's driving while impaired for all you non- Tar Heels) at 1am last night.  Evidently Mr. Smartypants thought he could make an illegal U-turn to avoid a DUI checkpoint.  Yeah, nothing like calling attention to yourself, right, Star-Boy?

Then, I got to work, checked the news and heard that President Ballsy Bush made a surprise trip to Baghdad, where he visited briefly with troops in the Green Zone and met with the new Iraqi cabinet.

Also, we're having a potluck for lunch and I have a long meeting that gets me out of sitting in my office.  Yay!

Posted by: caltechgirl at 09:30 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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We could use a cat like that here, too

After the recent rash of local bear-in-swimming-pool stories, I bet some people would be happy to have Jack the Tabby around:

A black bear got more than it bargained for after straying into a family garden in the US state of New Jersey.

The unwelcome intruder was forced up a tree - twice - by the family pet, a tabby cat called Jack.

The terrified bear was only able to make its escape when owner Donna Dickey called the hissing cat into the house.

Go get 'em kitty cat!

Posted by: caltechgirl at 02:23 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Took the weekend off

Of course I missed you all terribly, but sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, right?

And especially after a day like Friday....

Friday morning, I got up (late as usual) and realized that I needed to get gas.  So I dressed quickly and ran out to the car.  I get in the car, get it started and realize my sunglasses are upstairs in my bedroom.  As anyone who has ever lived in a town house will realize, that means two flights.  So I said fuck it and dug in the console for an old pair of hubby's.  Which were servicable despite huge scratches.  Then I go to back out of the garage, and as I hang the garage door clicker on the sunshade, somehow I hit the button as I am backing out.

Crash.  Car, meet door.  Door, meet car.

Thank God it stopped and rolled up on its tracks.  No Damage.

So I make it to Costco without incident for gas.  The whole way, praying that I have enough to make it....and wait in the line.

When I get there, the line fills the entire gas area (which is about 1/3 of the parking lot)... MUCH more traffic than usual, especially for the time of day.  Turns out only half the pumps are working for some unknown reason....  Sheesh.

Finally, I get out of there, get on the freeway and make it to work.  Our department took one of my colleagues out to lunch for his birthday (and to celebrate his new US Citizenship!), and while we were waiting for him to meet us, the birthday boy got a Jaywalking ticket crossing between his building and ours.  Sheesh.

**In CA, jaywalking is defined as crossing the street between two signal controlled intersections not in a crosswalk** (for those USC students on the corner of Hoover and Jeff.)

So the lunch that was supposed to start at 12 didn't start unti 1:30.

And traffic home was a nightmare.  When I got on the freeway, I saw the Goodyear Blimp rising from its hangar south of me in Carson, CA.  When I transitioned to the 110 freeway, the Blimp flew directly OVER me.  As I was passing through Downtown, the blimp was in front of me.  That sucks.  Photographic evidence when I get it uploaded later!

So I spent the last 2 days curled up with a good book (The Count of Monte Cristo, my favorite)

Posted by: caltechgirl at 12:05 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Thom Crews: Moron

Like we needed MORE evidence:

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' choice of a Hebrew flavored name for their newborn daughter has speakers of the language scratching their heads.
Baby Suri's name can be traced to a Hebrew word meaning "princess" or "noblewoman," but by such a circuitous route that the connection is lost on most Israelis. Since the birth Tuesday in Los Angeles, bemused Israeli TV and radio presenters have debated the word's origins.

"Nobody here has ever really heard of it," an announcer on Israel's Army Radio said during a discussion Thursday. The Yediot Ahronot newspaper agreed in its half page splash on the celebrity birth.

"We seem to have learned a new Hebrew word and from Tom Cruise, no less," said a Channel 2 TV anchorman.
...
Suri is a pet name for Sarah," Koor told Army Radio. "The Ashkenazi Jews of Poland and Hungary pronounce it Suri."

In ancient Hebrew, Sarah is the feminine form of "Sar," or lord. In modern Hebrew, the word means a Cabinet Minister.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. Idiot.

I believe the name they were looking for is Sarai. That was Abraham's wife's name (in the bible) before it was changed to Sarah. Which means Princess, according to most baby books.

Posted by: caltechgirl at 03:08 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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It seems like it can't have been that long ago

13 years ago today I was curled in a ball in my Mom's recliner, cuddled under a blanket and drinking hot tea. I was at home sick, and watching CNN. The ATF had held the Branch Davidian Complex under siege for 51 days before raiding their compound, killing 76 people, including the Davidian's leader, David Koresh.

I remember the whole screen erupting in flames as the buildings caught on fire, and wondering why in hell someone would ever think of doing that....or did the ATF do it? Turns out they set themselves on fire. Silly, really.

Two years later, I was home again. Maybe it was Spring Break. I don't recall. But I was watching again as the helicopters swirled around the Murrah building in Oklahoma City and firefighters rushed to save whoever they could. I remember thinking it was the "Arabs" because of the recent attack (first attack) on the World Trade Center. When we found out it was two white guys with an axe to grind we were flabbergasted, but in a way, not really surprised. Especially after the link to the Branch Davidians came out.

Fast forward 4 years and one day. College now, in fact it was my senior year and I was deep in the throes of choosing a grad school and planning a wedding. DH and I were in our bedroom in our apartment (with the only working TV). I was watching the news and he was writing a paper. Breaking News! Shootout in a Colorado HS! At least 12 people dead, including the stupid bastards who did the shooting. In later days, as we learned more about the lives of the two shooters, we were sobered by the fact that this could have been us. Some of you will recall our own "trenchcoat mafia" and the rumors of their weapons and intentions....

My own prayer is that we get through today and tomorrow without yet another somber anniversary.

Many touching remembrances of the OKC bombing across the web today, particularly this one, this one, and this one

Posted by: caltechgirl at 04:55 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Shake, Rattle, and Roll

On April 18, 1906, just after 5 AM, the peaceful slumber of the citizens of San Francisco was shattered forever.  A masssive earthquake, still one of the largest ever recorded, crippled the entire region.  The quake was felt hundreds of miles away, and nearly burned the entire city of San Francisco to the ground.

More on the "great quake":
Wikipedia
The Beeb
SF Museum
USGS

Posted by: caltechgirl at 10:20 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Would you rather....?

Found here

*Barefoot or Shoes? BAREFOOT.  And I wear Birkies when I can get away with it.  MUST be able to take my shoes off under my desk or a table

*Tea- Sweet or Unsweetened? SWEET!  I was always a no-sweetner girl until I moved to NC where you pretty much can't get it without sugar.  The sweeter the better, I say.

*Clothes- fitted or loose? Loose.  PJs and no bra if I can get away with it.

*Fish- fresh water or salt water? Not the biggest fish fan, but that which I will eat is all salt-water: Tuna steaks, Salmon, Scallops, Clam Chowder...

*Gravy or plain? Pass the gravy.  I usually get it on the side because I like the taste of my food and I can dip in or add it as I please.  For mashed taters, I usually go without and add cheese and sour cream instead

*House- spotless or lived in? Lived in.  I only lose things when I tidy up.

*Solitude or people? I would have to say people. But there are definitely moments when I need to be alone

*Beer or alcohol? I can't drink except on rare occasions thanks to my wonderful medication, but when I do it's almost ALWAYS a floofy girly drink.  With an umbrella or a fruit garnish.  So yeah, alcohol.

*Fiction or non-fiction? Fiction.  I love mysteries and interesting characters

*Weather- hot or cold?  Cold.  Definitely cold.  I love it when it rains or snows.  I love walking in the snow.  I love sleeping under a pile of blankets with the window open for some fresh air.

Posted by: caltechgirl at 02:48 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Office Vocabulary

Basil posted this, but I have the original memo...

TO ALL EMPLOYEES:

It has been brought to the management's attention that some individuals have been using foul language in the course of normal conversation between employees. Due to complaints from some more easily offended workers, this conduct will no longer be tolerated.

The management does, however, realize the importance of each person being able to properly express their feelings when communicating with their fellow employees. Therefore the management has compiled the following code phrases, so that the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue unabated.

Old Phrase	New Phrase
No f*cking way	I'm not certain that's feasible.
You've got to be sh*tting me	Really?
Tell someone who gives a f*ck	Perhaps you should check with ...
Ask me if I give a f*ck	Of course I'm concerned.
It's not my f*cking problem	I wasn't involved in that project.
What the f*ck?	That's interesting behavior.
F*ck it, it won't work	I'm not sure I can implement this.
Why the f*ck didn't you tell me that sooner?	I'll try to schedule that.
When the f*ck do you expect me to do this?	Perhaps I can work late.
Who the f*ck cares?	Are you sure it's a problem?
He's got his head up his a$$	He's not familiar with that problem.
Eat sh*t	You don't say.
Eat sh*t and die	Excuse me?
Eat sh*t and die motherf*cker	Excuse me, sir?
What the f*ck do they want from me?	They weren't happy with it?
Kiss my a$$	So you'd like help with it?
F*ck it. I'm on salary	I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
Shove it up your a$$	I don't think you understand.
This job sucks	I love a challenge.
Who the hell died and made you boss?	You want me to take care of this?
Blow me	I see.
Blow yourself	Do you see?
Another f*cking meeting	Yes, we should discuss this.
I really don't give a sh*t	I don't think it will be a problem.
F*ck you	How nice.
F*ck you sideways	How very nice.
He's a f*cking pr*ck.	He's somewhat insensitive.
She's a ball busting bitch.	She's an aggressive go getter.
You don't know what the f*ck you're doing.	I think you could use more training.

Posted by: caltechgirl at 11:37 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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More to come

Of course, as is usual, I have lots to talk about but no damn time.

Watch this space for my thoughts on body image, insomnia, and maybe immigration (if I feel like raising my blood pressure...)

Posted by: caltechgirl at 10:45 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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