Book Chapter: sent

FINALLY. Only 10 days late. 7, 329 words, 5 figures, references and an abstract.

Phew.

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Suck it up, twat. a.k.a. Paris goes to jail Part Deux

You play, you pay, little girl. 

This is what happens when you drive drunk.  You go to jail.  PERIOD.  Rich and Famous means nothing to Justice.  Remember, she's blind.

Suck it up Paris.  Maybe you'll actually learn a lesson from this.  You know, that Mommy and Daddy can't cover for you for the rest of your life.

Here's my favorite part:

As [deputy city attorney, David Bozanich] made the final pitch for Hilton's further incarceration, Hilton's entire body began trembling. She had a ball of tissue clutched in her hand and tears ran down her face.

Seconds later the judge announced his decision.

"The defendant is remanded to county jail to serve the remainder of her 45-day sentence. This order is forthwith," he said.

Hilton screamed.

The courtroom was surrounded with eight deputies who immediately ordered all spectators out.

Hilton's mother Kathy threw her arms around her husband Rick and sobbed uncontrollably.

Deputies escorted Hilton out of the room, holding each of her arms as she looked back.

Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200 dollars. Not that you need it.

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Real life intervenes

Working on a book chapter. If you have keys, feel free to pop in and post! Otherwise, chat in the comments, I guess.

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Actually, Glenn...

The question SHOULD be: Why isn't this a list of gifts for Mother's Day?  Lots of moms like power tools and grills and camera accessories, too!

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A Modern Commandment

Of Ellison:

"Thou shalt take thy garbage out from thy dwelling-place when the midden-heap becometh full, and deposit it in the Great Big Rolly Thing By The Driveway. Do this, lest thy habitation become stinky: I am the Lawd.

"On the second day and on the fifth day, thou shalt roll the Great Big Rolly Thing to the boundary of thy driveway, even unto the edge of thy driveway, that the Garbage Men may come to remove it from thy dwelling-place.

"And on the first of the month, thou shalt send thy Check-Offering unto the Garbage-Men, that they may continue to do their service, and the Crap in thy Dwelling-Place shall not become as numerous as the stars in the sky. It shall be a commandment unto you from generation to generation."

Amen.

Read the rest of Ellison's thoughts on modern life and it's reliance on waste removal.

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Useful links for my LA area peeps

First up, for those of you in the SGV area, a great new blog: Foothill Cities.  FCblog focuses on local happenings and politics in the cities along the foothills of the San Gabriel mountains from Pasadena down to Pomona.  It's how I keep up with local Pasadena news.  PS-N is nowhere near as responsive or informative!

And for everyone in LA, the LAFD News and Information blog, the official blog of the Los Angeles Fire Department Media and Public Relations office.  Great informative site about major fire incidents, including details, traffic difficulties, etc.  Also a great source of info about the department and department-sponsored public events.  I wish more public service agencies would maintain similar sites (hint hint LAPD, Pasadena PD, CHP, etc.).  Recently, their coverage of the Griffith Park fire and resulting evacuations and closures was EXCELLENT.

Thumbs up to both sites!

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Movin' on up.....

Well, we finally closed on the house on Thursday.

According to the contract, they had to be out at 5 pm that day.  We arrive at 5:05 with a pile of new locks and a bottle of champagne.

By 8 pm ALL the locks had been changed.

Anyway, we arrived at 5:05.  To find that the MOTHERFUCKERS had had the power turned off.  And the water, too.  This is POST 5  pm on Thursday before Memorial Day.  My choices are get it turned on Friday or go camping in my new house til Tuesday.

8:00 am Friday, I called our friends at Pasadena Water and Power.  I explained my plight and told her that we had been TOLD.  EXPLICITLY. that the services would be on, and that we would merely have to call.  And what was I supposed to do with nowhere else to go before Tuesday? (we are in the process of furniture moving, and we will be actually living there starting tomorrow night).

She took pity on me, charged me a small fee for same day service (they usually will not do same-day on Friday or the day before a holiday) and told me it would be on by 7pm.

A lovely gentleman was there by noon.

He, it turns out, is the dude responsible for our service area, and was ALSO the dude who turned the power and water OFF the previous afternoon.  He told us a very interesting story.  Seems Pasadena removes the actual water and power meters from a residence if it is to be vacant more than a couple of days to prevent meter theft.  His paperwork actually asked him to remove both meters because the house was supposedly going to be empty for quite a while.

However, as he is frequently in the neighborhood, he had seen the "For Sale" sign and had seen it being taken down, so he decided to save himself some work, and left the meters behind, as he assumed (correctly) that removal of the sign meant the house had been sold.

So when he got the call from dispatch he said "I knew it" and drove right over and turned us back on.  Took him 3 minutes.

Best $40 I ever spent.  Thanks Pasadena Water and Power.

Fucking cocksuckers.  Trying to screw me over again.  I hope they rot in hell.

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Moms and Sons

Today was a good day for mother-son blogging:

Oddy shares some pie with her little man.

Bou and Bones discuss girls

Seaturtle just doesn't understand where they get it from.

VW shares pictures from PreK graduation fun

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Note to self:

Red Eye flights are great if you actually manage to get some sleep. You know, instead of reading books.

Also, what the holy blue f*ck is it about flying that makes you so f*cking tired and sore at the end of a flight?  Even a short flight? I swear to all the deities I can think of (including the God of Partial Credit) it was a 51 minute flight from Chicago to Detroit, and I could barely haul my cookies out to the frigging curb afterward.

I just want to go home!

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Attention all Chris Muir stalkers

(that means YOU, wRitersBlock, and you Harvey)

Chris Muir will be the guest on tomorrow's Steve H. Graham Blogtalk Radio show.

9:30pm Eastern, Wednesday May 16.

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Reflecting from the other side of the fence

When I was a student, in high school, college, and even in graduate school, I had it impressed on me that the BEST way to make a good impression on my teachers was to work hard, be polite, and keep my sh*t together.

And frankly it always seemed to me to be a good idea, especially when asking for a favor such as extra help, a letter of recommendation, or a sit-down meeting outside the classroom.

I wonder sometimes if those lessons have been lost on the next generation. (BTW, next generation?  As if.  I was there myself less than 10 years ago!)

I am the initial point of contact for students in two of our programs once they have been accepted.  Among my many jobs is testing coordinator, and so once students know that they are coming to our school, they contact me to set up placement exams.

I can't believe the way these kids talk to me.  Do they not recognize that I am one of their professors?  Do they not have any respect for my position or the impact I can have on their future careers?

Here's a brief list of do's and don'ts for those of you still in school:

DO introduce yourself to your professor and ask any questions you would like answered.

DO NOT call your professor THAT YOU HAVE NEVER MET BEFORE by his/ her first name.

DO be timely in responding to any communication from the school you will be attending

DO NOT use that response to ask for special favors or to complain about what we are asking you to do.

DO purchase your class materials and texts ahead of time

DO NOT whine at me because you couldn't get your sh*t together before class begins

DO arrive at class on time, with your notebook, and ready to listen

DO NOT eat, check your email, or text your friends in my class.  This will NOT help you get a good grade.  Listening and taking notes will.

DO your homework when assigned

DO NOT ask me for extra time because you are confused.  No one else is.

I just wish someone could tell MY students this!

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I've been keeping a secret.....

It's not MY secret, so I don't feel so bad.  And in fact, in some ways it may be among the worst-kept secrets in blogdom.... 

Even so I feel pretty honored to have been trusted with it for so long, but now the proverbial cat's officially out of the bag, and I can share it with y'all.

My darling girl Helen is up the duff!  (that's p-r-e-g-n-a-n-t for you yanks!)

After many ups and downs, failed rounds of IVF, and many other difficulties, it seems Helen and her man Angus are about to become parents.  To twins!

I wish you both (publicly for the first time!!!) all the joy and happiness in the world over the next few months and the double blessing of two healthy babies in October!

These two little angels couldn't have picked a better mum and dad, who are thoughtful, and caring, and deeply committed to each other, and of course, already completely besotted with their very-much-wanted pair of babies.

If you're so inclined, drop by and share in their joy!

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Done deal

Pending escrow, we've got a house!

I know I haven't posted about it much, but that's because it has been BEYOND stressful, including some nasty negotiations, 7 counteroffers, and a lot of threats to walk away from the deal.

Here's hoping the rest of the deal goes smoother than the contract negotiations.

Escrow opens tomorrow!

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Keeping up with the Memers

Velocidude recently posted a cartoon short that was one of his favorites as a kid.

So I tried to find mine, but alas, it is NOT available on the web.  Ugh.

You see, I was always a Merrie Melodies gal.  Not so big on the Bugs Bunny and pals, but I loved the Mel Blanc shorts.  My all time favorite is a bit from 1953 called "A Sheep in the Deep" starring Sam Sheepdog and Ralph Wolf, who many of you will recognize a an early version of Foghorn Leghorn's nemesis George P. Dog and Wile E. Coyote.

If you have never seen any of the series, the premise is that Sam and Ralph are buddies, except at work, where the sheepdog's job is to keep the wolf away from the sheep, and the wolf's job is to catch them.  Sam and Ralph clock in and clock out every day.

And to appease those of you who MUST have a video, my favorite of the modern Warner Bros. cartoons. Pinky and the Brain present "The Parts of the Brain:"

For the curious, this little ditty was actually part of my PhD thesis talk. No, really.

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Armenian Martyrs' Day

April 24th is the day we remember the victims of a forgotten genocide.

On April 24, 1915, turkish soldiers arrested 250 Armenians in the first of hundreds of raids designed to wipe out the Armenian population of turkey.

Armenian villages were rousted one by one, and the men ordered to leave at once and serve the turkish army.  Boys as young as 9 or 10, and men as old as 70.  Many never made that far, as turkish soldiers often took these "new recruits" not to the army camps but out to the woods, where they were summarily executed.  The women and girls, thus undefended, were easy prey for the turkish soldiers.


Those who remained behind were forced from their lands, homes, and belongings, and force-marched to "settlement camps" in remote areas.  Many died along the way from exhaustion, starvation, and exposure to the elements.  According to French scholars Joel Kotek and Pierre Rigoulot, there were up to 25 such camps.


But the Armenian's plight was nowhere near as unknown, even in that day, as it is now.  Despite the lack of internet, video cameras, and TV screens, in 1915 the plight of the Armenians was a worldwide topic of discussion.  US Consular officials, as early as July of 1915, were concerned enough to beg the US government to step in. 

No less than Winston Churchill, then Britain's First Lord of the Admiralty noted, "the clearance of race from Asia Minor was about as complete as such an act could be...There is no reason to doubt that that this crime was planned and executed for political reasons. The opportunity presented itself for clearing Turkish soil of a Christian race opposed to all Turkish ambitions."  And he was then in the midst of the "war to end all wars" against Germany!


During 1915, the New York Times paper published 145 articles about the mass murder of the Armenian people, describing the massacre as "systematic, "authorized" and "organized by the government." In 1918, Theodore Roosevelt called it "the greatest crime of the war."

But today, no one even knows it happened

Denialists of all stripes, from US and EU officials who find turkey's past "annoying", to the turks themselves who believe such raids were justified to "pick up deserters" (yeah, little old men, deserters.  right.) have managed to decrease the general public's awareness of these atrocities.  But they happened.  There was no Photoshop in 1915.  All of the horrible pictures you see here are real.


Despite missions from the US and UK, Austria, France, and others, the plight of the Armenians faded off the radar screen as war in Europe intensified.

Looks a lot like Germany around 1942, huh? 

In fact,  Adolf Hitler said of the Armenian Genocide: "Who, after all, speaks today of the annihilation of the Armenians?"as his justification for the atrocities carried out on the Jews and others during the Nazi's reign over Germany.

We did not forget.  We do not forget.  We will always remember.

My previous remembrances here.  This stays on top all day.

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A lack of posting on my part....

Sorry folks, real life intervenes.  More this weekend, I hope.

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Would that more journalists saw things this way

ESPN.com's Jemele Hill apologizes to the Duke Lacrosse players wrongfully accused of rape (it's a long passage, but well worth the time and bandwidth):

My being a black woman, my knowing too many athletes who treat women like items to be purchased in a vending machine, and my witnessing enough athlete rape trials where accusers are overwhelmed by their fame and fortune -- it all tainted my perception and made me doubt your innocence.

I feel stupid now.

I could blame Durham County district attorney Mike Nifong, but that would be too easy. Oh, he's a lout, no doubt. He played upon the emotions of a community and its long-held hostilities, and put his reelection bid above morality and common sense. He played all of us and should be punished with nothing less than disbarment.

I could blame Jesse Jackson, who I have hoped for years would disappear to a faraway land where CNN wouldn't follow. As usual, Jesse showed up and showed out. He incited the masses and then left everyone else to sort out the wreckage. And if Jesse wants to gain an ounce of the credibility he no longer has, he would find the nearest camera -- and we know he's good at that -- and express sorrow with all the sincerity he can muster. But the day Jesse apologizes for causing a scene is the day Rosie O'Donnell wears a muzzle.

But if there is anything to be learned from Don Imus' fall, it's that real apologies are never accompanied by rationalizations.

So to Reade Seligmann, Collin Finnerty and David Evans, the three Duke lacrosse players whose lives were mangled by an unsupported rape accusation, I say two of the hardest words in the English language:

I'm sorry.

It's not enough, and I won't pretend that it is. For the last year, your lives and those of your families have been more difficult than any of us can possibly imagine. I'll never know what it was like walking around normal society labeled a rapist. I'll never know what it's like to lose everything -- your school, your program and your life -- because of one unproven accusation.

You deserve all of that back and then some, but unfortunately, you won't get it. You have every right to not trust anyone and think less of people. Duke University abandoned you. An overzealous prosecutor tormented you. A community, a nation, didn't believe you. Journalists everywhere, sensing ratings and salivating over the salaciousness of black strippers and white athletes, chose to keep you under attack.

Not that this is a contest to see who was wronged the most, but the Rutgers women's basketball team at least received justice, because Imus was suspended and dropped by MSNBC, which simulcasts his morning show. Plenty of people are outraged on their behalf.

But who is outraged on your behalf? What justice will you receive? Will the same networks that willingly aided in destroying your reputations now give you airtime to vent your frustrations? Will Jesse Jackson now offer the three of you a free scholarship like he did the "victim," since he helped assist in your battered reputation?

Maybe the only modicum of fairness you have received is that the News & Observer in Raleigh decided to print the name of your accuser. I don't normally advocate that the names of alleged victims be printed, but it feels right in this instance.

I know I'd certainly like to ask your accuser a few questions, even though she stood by her story as North Carolina's attorney general vehemently proclaimed your innocence. Does she understand she has tanked not only her credibility, but that of other women, too? Does she understand the next time a woman comes forward with an allegation this serious, all of our minds will scroll back to this case, and we will be less inclined to believe her? Does she know women with legitimate sexual-assault complaints will look at this furor and decide silence is best?

I can't deny that your race, gender and class have everything to do with how you were treated then and how you are treated now. Some people believe white men are exempt from sympathy and incapable of being maligned, so they will not swallow their pride and offer you the decency you should have received in the first place. Yes, you made an unwise decision to entertain strippers at a residence, but that just makes you guilty of being like 90 percent of college males.

Read the rest here.

Bravo to Ms. Hill, who put politics and BS aside in the face of what is right, and my best wishes to these three young men, who have learned a very painful lesson about race, class, and sex in this country.  I hope that they are able to pick up where they left off, and come to a place where people don't know their names except based on their accomplishments and kindnesses.

h/t Goldstein

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For those of you in the know...

They say no news is good news, right?  I'll let you know when I know more.

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A Literary Loss

Kurt Vonnegut died today at the age of 84.  You might be surprised to find me a Vonnegut fan, given his politics, but he had a GENIUS way with words.

Breakfast of Champions was the first Vonnegut I read.  In high school.  In between giggling at his picture of an a$$hole....

I discovered the first REALLY SMART book I ever read.  Admittedly it took me a couple of trips through before I really got it.

And I was hooked.  Over the years, I've put a lot of Vonnegut between my ears, including many of the lesser known books, especially Hocus Pocus, which gave me one of my favorite phrases ever, "When the Excrement Hit the Air Conditioning".... And yes, he capitalized it just like that.

His sense of the euphemism was unmatched, and he used them like metaphors.  In a world of fumbling double entendre and pathetic punnery, his phrases stand out for their lack of self-importance.

My favorite of his works, though, was his last novel, Timequake, a book I love so dearly that I have thumb tabbed a number of quotes.
I have two favorite passages, a short one I will share with you here, and a longer bit below the jump (profanity below the jump, BTW).

Vonnegut's advice to the physicist Leo Seren, who apologized for participating in the atomic bomb production:

"Somebody should have told him that being a physicist on a planet where the smartest animals hate being alive so much means never having to say you're sorry."

h/t Jack of Random Fate
more...

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Science and Belief, Not Incompatible

As you all know, I am a scientist. Most of my friends are scientists, my colleagues are scientists, and I have had the privilege of meeting many of the world's deepest and most renowned scientific thinkers.

And again and again, I am struck by the depth of faith to be found in the scientific community. While laypeople bitch and moan over Evolution, Creation, and Intelligent Design, many scientists simply don't see the incongruity.

The more you know about the amazing intricacies of the world around us, the easier it is to believe in an omniscient supreme being as designer and creator. It's all just so smart you know?

Anyway, the point of this post is to share with you a bit of this piece from CNN, where Dr. Francis Collins, Director of the Human Genome Project at NIH, discusses his faith and how one can be a scientist AND a believer.

So, some have asked, doesn't your brain explode? Can you both pursue an understanding of how life works using the tools of genetics and molecular biology, and worship a creator God? Aren't evolution and faith in God incompatible? Can a scientist believe in miracles like the resurrection?

Actually, I find no conflict here, and neither apparently do the 40 percent of working scientists who claim to be believers. Yes, evolution by descent from a common ancestor is clearly true. If there was any lingering doubt about the evidence from the fossil record, the study of DNA provides the strongest possible proof of our relatedness to all other living things.

But why couldn't this be God's plan for creation? True, this is incompatible with an ultra-literal interpretation of Genesis, but long before Darwin, there were many thoughtful interpreters like St. Augustine, who found it impossible to be exactly sure what the meaning of that amazing creation story was supposed to be. So attaching oneself to such literal interpretations in the face of compelling scientific evidence pointing to the ancient age of Earth and the relatedness of living things by evolution seems neither wise nor necessary for the believer.

I have found there is a wonderful harmony in the complementary truths of science and faith. The God of the Bible is also the God of the genome. God can be found in the cathedral or in the laboratory. By investigating God's majestic and awesome creation, science can actually be a means of worship.

That's absolutely how I feel, and I know many others who feel the same way. Science and Faith go hand in hand. Science is the discovery of the majesty of our world, and revealing the wonder of the universe gives glory to its author.

Have a Blessed Easter, Passover, or whatever you choose to celebrate this weekend!

h/t John at Wait 'til Next Year

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