March 28, 2006
Marriage-- For Whites Only?
Much has been made of the
Joy Jones article in yesterday's Washington Post regarding the attitudes of young blacks towards marriage.
The best (bar none) commentary on this article I have seen is
this piece by LaShawn Barber. I'm not always in agreement with LaShawn, but in this case she hits the nail squarely on the head. She says, in part:
"In my admittedly biased, unscientific observations, it appears that black boys are not being socialized to marry and take care of families, and black girls are not being socialized to accept nothing less than an honorable man who will marry and care for them. Generally speaking, boys are not being groomed to be husbands and breadwinners, and girls are not being groomed to keep their legs closed until marriage.
Why are these things so, and why is “black marriage†in such a dismal state? I believe the reasons boil down to two factions: fatherless homes and the weakening of the social stigma against illegitimacy."
There's a lot more, so
do go
read the rest. I'll wait here, I promise.
As an educator in a university that was founded specifically to train minority students in the sciences, these attitudes in the Black community are critical to what I do everyday. It's hard to combat the idea that a college education and a stable family aren't things that are for whites only. It's hard to get a kid whose brother is in jail to believe that he or she can get into med school. The kids (anecdotally) who end up making the decision to commit to college and be successful are more likely to be the ones that have a stronger base at home, either Mom and Dad, or parent and step-parent.
Furthermore, I find it ironic that this attitude reflects a self-imposed social segregation. Many have written, and eloquently, about the re-segregation of the Black community, from the suburbs back to the urban ghettoes, and the embracing of ghetto culture as something unimpeachably "
Ours". In this mentality, wealth, education, and social well-being are disregarded as anathema to one's ethnic identity. All under the guise of "
keeping it real".
Since when is caring for your children, earning enough money to provide for them properly, and encouraging them to get an education NOT "real". Or is "real" just another word for "victim"?
Which brings me to my own question about this article. I get the sense that this attitude is a reflection of the broader feeling that Black=Victim (and, as a corollary, White=Abuser). Why is it so important for the Black community to be the victim? Is that the only identity that they can cling to? Let's look at the evidence (using generalities here): Black communities come together in poor urban centers, they shun education and professional attitudes (see "
uncle toms" and "oreos", the NBA Dress Code debacle, or Chris Rock's "Master's" skit), and now apparently devalue marriage and co-parenting.
Maybe the reason that marriage "isn't" for Blacks is that anything that "builds up" a family is incompatible with the community mentality.
I'm sure that I'm going to get a lot of sh*t from Black folks on this. Yes, I am a white girl talking about Black culture. But I
work in this community. I
teach in this community. And I see how the choices that people make impact their children's lives and choices. The real issue shouldn't be who's asking the question, but rather how do we go about answering the problems.
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You know what, white girl, it doesn't matter that you work and teach in the community. You aren't the community and you have no license to discourse about something that your priveleged white background has protected you from all of your life.
First of all, black people and white people have never been on a level playing field and when economics are the basis for male self worth as out society dictates, black men are not going to feel confident stepping up and marrying the way white men do. And when you live in a society that glorifies white women as a symbol of beauty, where images of beautiful, smart, strong black women such as myself are absent from every form of media, black children, particularly black girls will not develop the same level of self esteem or acceptance that white women have, undeservedly at that.
I am a strong, educated, upper middle class black woman. I have a degree from Carnegie Mellon University. I work for one of the best educational non-profit programs in the country, I have at least $45K in savings, I have taught at the best independent schools in this country and I was raised in a two parent household and guess what? I am a single parent.
I was taught to keep my legs closed and to only be sexually intimate with someone I loved, but when I was preyed upon by white men in college who thought I was "exotic", no one prepared me for that experience. And I dare you to look at abortion rates among white women. You holier than thou white women act as though you don't have sex outside of the marriage. The fact of the matter is that you don't value children the way the black women do, but of course, no one is talking about that, are they?
The father of my child is a good man who is trying to make it in this f----ed up society that doesn't value him as both a musician and a black man. You will never live our lives, you will never walk in our shoes and until you examine the undeserved privilege that you have lived all of your damn life, I suggest you shut the hell up and get the hell out of the community you are in because you obviously are a fake, liberal white women with absolutely no respect or regard for the beauty and quality of the people that you are serving.
Posted by: Tara Phillips at March 28, 2006 08:25 PM (vx3lt)
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A fake liberal white woman? ME????? Honey, you obviously didn't take the time to look around, did you?
Ha. And BTW, poor is poor. I had to pull myself up from nowhere too.
Until people LIKE YOU stop making excuses for your community, things won't change.
And so what if I'm white? When you're too close to the problem, sometimes you lose sight of what's really going on.
Posted by: caltechgirl at March 28, 2006 09:12 PM (jOkK0)
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When I was in the lower years in school, long time ago now, I took a taxi home each day (Ah, government subsidies...). One of the passangers had to be the victim. He just knew no other roll to play. The first words I heard him say were "Dont say Merc, it annoys me." (He had a learning disability of some type). There followed much Mercing over the next few days and much scraming from him, until the passangers became bored. Then he would just remind he what he doesn't like or hint, apparently randomly, "Dont pull my tie."
The victim is a clear role. Victims know what is expected of them. They have a clear 'enemy' to dislike and to blame for all their problems. They can appeal for the sympathy of others.
Just look at the Evangelical christians - how many of those believe there is some form of vast secular conspiracy, probably headed by the ACLU, to outlaw all christian worship?
Posted by: Suricou_Raven at March 28, 2006 11:55 PM (45BLI)
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This is the best sentence of the entire comment:
"The father of my child is a good man who is trying to make it in this f----ed up society that doesn't value him as both a musician and a black man."
First, white musicians -- all of them -- are valued by society, they're all millionaires; they never sleep in the backs of their vans parked in the lot behind the dive that booked their latest gig. Second, this is an old, circular argument. It goes like this: White people oppress black people. Because they are the victims of racism, black people may talk about racism in our society. White people, even though they allegedly perpetrate that very racism, may not discuss the racism because they are not the victims.
But who's being racist?
You know what, white girl, it doesn't matter that you work and teach in the community. You aren't the community and you have no license to discourse about something that your priveleged white background has protected you from all of your life.
First of all, black people and white people have never been on a level playing field and when economics are the basis for male self worth as out society dictates, black men are not going to feel confident stepping up and marrying the way white men do. And when you live in a society that glorifies white women as a symbol of beauty, where images of beautiful, smart, strong black women such as myself are absent from every form of media, black children, particularly black girls will not develop the same level of self esteem or
acceptance that white women have, undeservedly at that.
Posted by: Cardinal Martini at March 28, 2006 11:57 PM (CC73i)
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I love a good argument!
Okay- first off- NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING matters except family. And when I say family, I mean a close-knit family, one where the parents teach the children about being a good person, love, having goals, how to achieve those goals, etc.
It doesn't matter if you are black, white, purple or green.
In a home where family members extoll the degradation of ANY race is not a good home. I don't care if that be a comment about 'honky's,' 'nigger's,' 'wetbacks,' or any other slur in the form of a joke- or if it is a complaint about how one race is looked 'down upon' by another. If words or statements of that nature are what the children hear growing up- what do you think that child will grow up learning?
No- this world is not fair. It has never been and it will never be. Accept that. Teach your child (and any child you have contact with) how to accept the world AND the different people in it- teach them they don't have to like what other people like because everyone is different- teach them that there are assholes in the world, but they don't have to be one, and to understand that anyone that makes demeaning statements about any race is ignorant. But that they [the child] shouldn't hold it against someone because in doing so, they will taint themself with the poison of the ignorant.
Playing the victim is easier than rising above it. Your life depends on the choices YOU make. An ignorant racist is an obstacle everyone must overcome, not just the race being degraded.
ANYONE can be racist. Making a remark about someone because they are white/black/blue IS BEING RACIST. If someone lives and works in a community, they are PART of that community- their skin color doesn't matter.
Calling attention to your race, statements degrading another race, getting angry at someone not for what they said, but because they said it and they aren't the same race as you....it's all racism. And everyone loses.
"People don't know no better. When they know better, they do better."
Maya Angelou
Posted by: Rave at March 29, 2006 08:39 AM (Fir0Z)
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"marriage is for white people"? Is that possibly code for marriage is for successful people? how would a kid know what is success and what attains to successful people? he's a kid! he has no psychic background, among other things. my golly! how things spiraled upward from a remark by a kid! from where I am, I have seen an awful lot of kids from miserable backgrounds (insufficient food, clothing, nurturing, etc.) make it good and make it big no matter what their ethnicity. the human spirit blooms perenially evergreen.
Posted by: mageen at March 30, 2006 01:05 PM (wZLWV)
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As a white girl who was born in the projects and no family to really speak of and lots of other myriad strikes against me, I hate the whole divide and war and whatever it's called. I was recently in upper management in a company where I supervised an African-American girl who refused to apply herself and cry "pity me" when handed an assignment.
The CEO (also her aunt and who hired her based not on ability but on bloodline and potential) used to bitch at me to be more lenient with her because she didn't grow up "with the opportunities (I) had."
Um, the girl? Wore Jones New York suits every day and had a very well-off mother who bailed her out all the time. And she went to way better schools than me. It was just clear which one of us had maximized our education and applied ourselves. And that's not a racial thing -- I'd be disappointed in anybody who didn't maximize whatever opportunities they either earned or were handed.
I have no business and no knowledge of the marriage situation and how people are conditioned. But as a supervisor in a unique situation, I know I struggled a lot with how much I was able to expect from my employee and how much of a headache I would get in response to delegating work she clearly wasn't interested in doing to help the department while cultivating/honing a skill set for herself.
Posted by: dawn at April 01, 2006 05:02 PM (D+5+4)
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March 21, 2006
For Joe
The
Top 10 Best Alarm Clocks, guaranteed to
WAKE YOUR ASS UP!!!
(our roommate senior year, the aforementioned Joe, was and is a notoriously heavy sleeper. Even kicking him didn't work at times....)
h/t McGehee
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I want to corner the market on replacement pins for the hand-grenade alarm (which is a product that's clearly targeted at the parents-of-teens market).
Posted by: Bob at March 22, 2006 10:45 AM (yMzz+)
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March 20, 2006
Weekend Highlights
Pretty good weekend hereabouts.
Saturday we spent the last of DH's "new teacher credit" at the school supply store, and as we were in a town that had one (20 miles from here!), we indulged in some
Southern Fast Food.
I even got to meet one of the cows! I think we'll be driving out that way more often.
We forgot to stop at the donut place that we love out that way, because we were running low on gas, so we made up for it by making a big batch of chocolate chip cookies and watching On-Demand movies (did I mention how much I love free on-demand with the Movie channels? Which are also free with the deal we got from the cable company because they screwed up! I have been told this by them, we're not stealing anything)
We watched Shaolin Soccer (funny!) and Finding Neverland (excellent!).
I guess we made up for it yesterday, as we were both feeling a little under the weather, and I have a temp, so I'm working from home today....
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Hope you are feeling better!
Good for you to be able to work from home.
Yay YOU!
; )
Posted by: Chrissy at March 20, 2006 04:46 PM (zJsUT)
2
That sounds like a GREAT weekend!
Hope you are feeling better right away...
Posted by: Richmond at March 21, 2006 12:14 PM (e8QFP)
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March 14, 2006
March 09, 2006
Paging Dr. Google
As many of you know, Dilbert cartoonist (and blogger) Scott Adams has a dystonia which prevents him from drawing without the aid of a computer. About a year ago he started having problems speaking in public as well.
None of the remedies prescribed by the doctors seemed to be working, and one day he realized that the voice problems he was experiencing might be tied to his dystonia. So he asked Dr. Google, who returned the result "Spasmodic Dysphonia", an extremely rare condition resulting in voice changes very similar to what he was experiencing, and to top it off, this condition was more likely to co-occur in people experiencing dystonias.
Here is Scott's account of his search for a doctor who would actually test for the Zebra, even though the entire stable of horses were absent. With a correct diagnosis he's now able to resume public speaking, even if the treatment is a little grody....
What's interesting about the story isn't merely that the doctors were unwilling to listen, but rather it highlights what could have happened if the patient in question wasn't a famous artist with access to a doctor specializing in his particular disorder. Imagine the merry-go-round of drugs, tests, and therapies any of us regular joes might have gone through. Imagine what might have happened if he hadn't had the computer skills to look for what he was experiencing.
Are our doctors willing to go the extra mile? To sort through every possibility in the differential diagnosis to find the right answer? To listen carefully when a patient says "These are my symptoms, and it says here that I could have
this"?
Kinda makes you think, huh?
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Funny that I read this just as my professor is apologizing for Britain's health scheme. "Americans wrongly call it socialized medicine" and "it's just not given enough funding".
Posted by: Cardinal Martini at March 09, 2006 11:56 AM (Mu6wj)
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It's been my experience that doctor's seldom listen. I spent three years trying to convince a team of doctor's that I had PCOS. They ruled out everything else first.
Why? Because I wasn't a doctor. I was just a woman who knew her own body. I interview my doctor's very carefully now...and either they let me actively participate in my own care, or I look elsewhere. You are your own best advocate!!
Posted by: Dana at March 09, 2006 02:10 PM (euBkS)
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Wow. I'm with Dana... I want to be involved.
Posted by: vw bug at March 09, 2006 04:11 PM (qxjXY)
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I grew up watching my mum be told that whatever was wrong with her was all in her head when the doctors couldn't figure it out. It wasn't until a few years ago she was finally diagnosed. And gee, it wasn't all in her head. Go figure.
Posted by: Ith at March 10, 2006 11:14 AM (0ectA)
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Spawned
The
Phinlet is here!
Boy 8lbs 14ozs, born between 1 and 2 am this morning, all other details are classified.
Mom and Babe are fine. No word yet on the Phishy.
Congrats to all the family!
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Epiphany
I came to a realization this morning while the coffee was brewing:
I am a reality TV junkie.Funny thing, though, it almost happened by default. See I have always been a people watcher. Get me to Disneyland and I love nothing better than to sit out in front of the castle on a bench, eat some overpriced ice cream and see who walks by. So I suppose watching reality shows is a natural extension of that. Don't get me wrong, I don't watch them all, in fact, I am pretty discriminating in my choices.
For example, my "must watch" shows this season include AI (but only AFTER the top 24 are picked), TAR, Survivor, Dog the Bounty Hunter (on the 12 am rerun), EM: Home Edition, and the recently concluded Dancing with the Stars, Skating with Celebrities, and Project Runway (yay Chloe!). The only scripted "must watches" on the list are House (which is the bloody best show on TV!) and 24.
One step down, the "will watch" list includes a lot of scripted shows, like the various L and O franchises, CSI, Criminal Minds (love it, never remember when it's on), and Numbers. The reality "will watch" list includes Mythbusters (on at the SAME F-ING TIME as House and Dog), various Discovery Channels series (I was soooo hooked on Dangerous Catch and Iceberg Cowboys), Queer Eye, and Supernanny/ Nanny 911.
Ok, maybe I do watch a lot of TV, but as the inimitable Tim Gunn says, "It relaxes me." Watching stupid people do stupid things is a great way to wind down from a long day of BS.
Also, like Ben, it's wallpaper much of the time. Just sound on for noise to help me concentrate on whatever I'm doing at the time.
Yeah, I'm weird.
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March 08, 2006
My Own Feminist Manifesto
This post also marks my
Cotillion debut!
**The following post contains R-rated language**
Today is International Women's Day.
I could give a shit.
Truth be told, in my entire life I've never had much use for the feminist movement. Sure, I've benefited from my "sisters" who came before me. I suppose. But I feel like I've had to make my own way. I work in a profession dominated by men. I went to a university where men outnumbered women by as much as 8 to 1. And yet, I have never experienced discrimination because I am a female.
Yeah, maybe it's because I don't act like a girl. I'm loud, ballsy, and I like to be right. I WILL stand up for what I believe to be the right thing. I give as good as I get in the chain-yanking department, and I have been known to make the men I work with blush because of what I say.
Or maybe it's because I don't look like what the magazines say I should. I'm short, dark, and big. No barbie doll here. Her boobs, maybe, but that's about it.
See the rest in the extended....
more...
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I definitely agree with everything you have said in this post. Not only have "feminists" inadvertently reverted back to the idea that women should be defined by their physical (sexual) characteristics, but I think they have lost sight of what the true feminist movement was all about. Like you mention, it was all intended to bring about equality between the sexes. Now it seems, at least to me, that a majority of feminists want to wipe men off the planet. Men are not the enemy here. Its the women who like to feel victimized and underprivaledged (i.e. feminists) that are keeping women down. I have never once felt discriminated against because of a certain XX chromosome...I've gotten (or was offered) every job I've ever applied for, and I was accepted to all but one of the universities I applied to out of highschool. These feminists need to stop complaining about what they don't have and actually start to work for it.
Posted by: The Skirted Menace at March 08, 2006 04:09 PM (GWRCz)
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Here here!
Although, what you describe (and I heartily endorse every single thought above) is what I think the feminists had in mind in the first place. I imagine Susan B. Anthony is spinning in her grave - as are so many of the original women's movement.
Posted by: beth at March 08, 2006 05:11 PM (2qc7C)
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Couldn't have said it any better than that. Fantastic post.
Posted by: Miss Fire at March 08, 2006 05:31 PM (EZgmg)
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You write very nice in the beginning and you seem to be a very smart woman. But when you start to want to limit other women's choice, you become just another hysteric american. Why is it so hard for you to accept that other people have another opinion. No one is going to force you or anyone you love to take an abortion. Why do you want women to go and take illegal abortion, and maybe risk their life. Women will always try to controll their fertility. Please, wake up! Don't be a fool and limit other peoples choice.
are you kidding me? Did I say anything about illegal abortion? Or are you one of those who reads that into everything? How did you miss the pro-choice part? Sheesh.
Oh, and thanks for the laugh -- CTG
Posted by: therese at March 09, 2006 04:56 AM (YKZBj)
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"the SINGLE MOST EMPOWERING thing a woman can do is to bear a child and be its mother" --- You're not kidding. I've always believed that I could do anything I set my mind to, also. And after having a child and being his mother 24x7, I know that I'll never do more important work than mothering.
"These rights also come with some responsibilities: To take responsibility for their own failures, not to blame them on others' prejudices; to respect your own body; to take care of your family; to treat others as you would want to be treated." ----- Applause!
Posted by: Marie at March 09, 2006 07:05 AM (ZNESr)
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This is a great post. I was faced with an unplanned pregnancy at the age of 14. I was raped by an older man very well known in my community. In 1964, to get an abortion I went across the border to Juarez, Mexico. A lot of bad things happened in that clinic and a strong father came and got me off that table. I believe I owe my life to my father. Anyway, we, my dad and I chose life and I had to relinquish my son.
I do believe in pro choice. i got very involved in helping birthmother's, adoptee's and adoptive parents reunite. I found there were birthfather's wanting to find also.
The feminist movement gets me furious! I can not watch so many sitcoms because the man is shown as the weaker link.
I am older, 56 now. I have seen the movement grow in to a national embaressment in my opinion, if that mounts to much. I will not ever tell my daughter or granddaughter what she can or can not do being a woman. Instead I tell them how very great they are and they can make their own choices. My daughter went from welfare to work and now she is helping women in Washington State to do the same and is giving programs where she is the main speaker.
All of the above goes to show just how strong women are and we need not join any radical group to get ahead!
Didn't mean to ramble just to tell you this post is EXCELLENT and THANKS!
Posted by: Janelle at March 09, 2006 12:09 PM (tK0mN)
7
go girls you will always kick butt
Posted by: rori at June 12, 2006 04:39 PM (3AKUE)
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March 06, 2006
Rest in Peace, Kirby
After suffering a massive stroke yesterday at his home in Arizona, family members chose to remove Hall of Famer Kirby Puckett from life support this afternoon, and he passed away at age 45.
Not surprisingly, the Strib has a
great story on one of the good guys:
"Puckett rose from a Chicago housing project and became a Minnesota sports icon, bursting onto the scene as a rookie in 1984 with an energetic style and an effervescent smile, each all his own.
He led the Twins to the World Series in 1987 and 1991, leaping into walls as their center fielder and swinging with a might that belied his stocky, 5-8 frame.
He often said he played every game as if it were his last, and sure enough, on March 28, 1996, Puckett awoke with blurred vision in his right eye.
He never played again. He was diagnosed with glaucoma and retired on July 12, 1996.
For the next five years, Puckett remained a smiling fixture on the Minnesota scene, working as an executive vice president for the Twins in an ambassadorial role.
In 2001, he became a first-ballot inductee into the National Baseball Hall of Fame with 2,304 career hits, 10 All-Star selections and six Gold Glove Awards."
Despite some trying times, including never substantiated allegations of abuse and sexual harassment, Kirby's legacy is that of a star fallen too soon, and now, gone too soon.
I'm a huge Dodger fan, but Kirby Puckett was always one of my favorites, and I will miss him. May his family have peace in this difficult time.
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March 01, 2006
I'm taking a poll...
I am seriously thinking of cutting my hair....
These two
lovely ladies did it, and I'm thinking of jumping on the bandwagon.
My hair is my one vanity, see, and that makes it hard. It's brown/auburn, slightly wavy (more so when it's shorter) hangs almost to my rear and is super thick, so it knots constantly and there's not much I can do with it other that a simple knot or one of the vast array of charming
Princess Leia hairdos.
and I'm tired of putting it up in a knot everyday....
I want something shorter, with a lot of body to it. I think that would be fun
and look nice...
Thinking of something like
this. What do you think? (Eva's hair, not Tony's :-) )
here's a similar style....
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Oh go on, be daring, get a 'do like Tony's! Just think low maintenance, cool in summer ...
Posted by: Amanda at March 01, 2006 04:45 PM (L4Sch)
2
Without knowing your face shape, it's hard to say what I would think of it.
But you, darling, must LOVE it...so go with your gut.
Posted by: Dana at March 01, 2006 04:47 PM (euBkS)
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It's a great look! I say go for it... ;-) It'll always grow back if you decide you like it better long.
Posted by: Marie at March 01, 2006 04:51 PM (ZNESr)
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What Dana said
When I went from below my shoulders, to short and spikey, it was a shock, but I adored it.
Posted by: Ith at March 01, 2006 04:57 PM (2EfyX)
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I'm with the rest of them. Do it and if you don't like it, it'll grow out. I like my hair shoulder length or a little shorter myself... and if your hair already has some curl... I think it would be fun. Then again, you should have seen me every 6 months to a year when I was working. My co-workers swore I did it for the shock value. Short and straight, grow it out and curl it, always worn up, then always just pulled away from the face. I love changing my hair. I finally found one I liked, but can't afford it any more.
Posted by: VW Bug at March 01, 2006 05:34 PM (hFP+9)
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I think it would look great! You should take advantage of your waves. Some people pay good money to have them!!! My hair hair has natural wave to it and does much better shorter. And it is so easy to fix. I just blow dry my hair with my head upside down for about 3 minutes and let it air dry the rest.
Would it be long enough that you could pull it back if you wanted to?
And it will always grow out! Have you thought about Locks of Love?
Posted by: Amy at March 01, 2006 05:52 PM (UxaeN)
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Two Junes ago I chopped my hair and donated it to Locks of Love. I love that I did that, but the short 'do was quite traumatic, especially for darling hubby. Now it just won't grow fast enough, although it is finally nearing mid-back again. If I ever cut it again, I'll donate it again, because it's the right thing to do.
So if you have enough and decide to hack it off, please consider donating your hair.
Growing up. my best friend had alopecia (sp?) which is the genetic condition that prevents your from growing hair. It's so hard for children who have to wear wigs.
Whatever you decide, do it for you, not for anyone else.
Posted by: wRitErsbLock at March 01, 2006 07:12 PM (0Pi1o)
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In my quite possibly mistaken opinion, the Eva cut could work, and definitely much more so than the "Meg Ryan trying to look less 'cute'" cut at the second link. You'd need to consider your own shape and size specifically, but Eva's is nice for (relatively) short and wavy.
Posted by: Jay at March 01, 2006 07:22 PM (a6pw5)
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Being a guy I'm sure my oppinion doesn't count, but I think longer hair is better. Those pictures are just way too short for my taste.
Posted by: Contagion at March 01, 2006 07:29 PM (e8b4J)
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I think there is much to consider. First, I'm into Locks of Love in a big way. Your hair is long enough that you could give the length they want and still have long hair. So consider that.
I think that going too short may shock you. You've had this beautifully long hair for a long time. I'm going to suggest going something more at just past the shoulders. You will be AMAZED at how much body it has at shoulder length. Mine comes just past my shoulders and when mine was down the middle of my back it had a much different look... very weighted.
So going just to shoulders, with a style, is a start. Then if you like it, go the next step to neck, then chin. I'd work up to it. And I say this from experience.
Also, last, what does your husband think? And not that it matters as its YOUR hair, but my husband likes long hair and although I get very adament that its "MY HAIR DAMMIT!" and he supports that, when I get it cut too short (and I have gone very short) I know he doesn't like it even though he would NEVER say it and it wears on me mentally.
So... those are my thoughts. There are no wrong answers however... as it always grows back!!!
Posted by: Bou at March 01, 2006 07:59 PM (iHxT3)
11
Go Locks of Love baby!!!!
Free haircut and it's a good cause. PLus, maybe it will make me brave enough to finally cut mine. What do you think? Should we forma haircutting pact?
Posted by: Sarah at March 01, 2006 08:05 PM (E6f+8)
12
Well, I think the chance to do something different is tempting, but I wouldn't chop it. Of course, look at my hair - I wouldn't necessarily call it wild! I would go for a mid-boobage cut that has the ends so graciously curving around you-know-where. Although, I'm curious to see what you end up doing - maybe you'll convince me to do something new!
Posted by: Sharon at March 01, 2006 08:46 PM (pgnbp)
13
Those styles are gorgeous!
As further encouragement, there was enough of my hair left to be collected and donated to a group that makes wigs for cancer patients.
As long and thick as your hair is, they could make two, maybe three, wigs for those in need...
; )
Posted by: Christina at March 01, 2006 09:23 PM (zJsUT)
14
Okay, I'm gradually beginning to believe that you're my secret twin, which is a little creepy, but in any case, I vote no. This is strictly based on my own personal prejudices as a fellow thick-curly-hair-to-my-butt person. I've worn mine up in the same bun for about a year, but it's better than it being short, because when it is, it gets all poofy and I have no way of controlling it. When it's long, it can be tamed.
Posted by: Katie at March 01, 2006 10:23 PM (ZDYYP)
15
Well, on the one hand those are cool hairstyles. On the other hand, and I guess this is a guy's perspective (cf. Contagion, above), my attitude is that,
ceteris paribus, longer is better than shorter.
("
Ceteris paribus"??! :-)
Posted by: Paul Burgess at March 02, 2006 05:52 AM (7EVyU)
Posted by: jen at March 02, 2006 06:26 AM (UMVKj)
17
Cool! I'm considering locks of love too. I have thick ass-length hair and I'm sick of not being able to do much with it except pull it up or braid it cause it is always knotting up. I have gone super short in the past and loved it. I've gone shoulder length and loved it. I really like the second picture too.
Posted by: oddybobo at March 02, 2006 07:33 AM (6Gm0j)
18
Like the guys before I tend to think longer the hair the better. However, not to long ago my wife cut her hair shorter and I like it, and as Bou mentioned, I think if your hair is pretty long that you should try at or slightly below the shoulders first. But who am I to say I use a razor on mine most of the time.
Posted by: Tige at March 02, 2006 08:34 AM (QgCnE)
19
I'm not crazy. I feel strongly both ways.
Posted by: Jim - PRS at March 02, 2006 11:48 PM (njBz/)
20
Okay, as for the whole knotting-up issue -- I strongly recommend getting the book "Curly Girl" by Lorraine Massey, swearing off shampoo, and discarding your hairbrush. Really. I have huge amounts of thick wavy knot-prone hair, and with proper use of conditioner and finger-combing, I've not used a hairbrush or shampoo in about a month, my hair is softer than it's ever been, smells great, and is completely knot-free. I realize this goes against everything anyone's ever told you about haircare and hygiene, but before you lop your hair off for being knotty, try it for a few weeks. And if you decide then to cut it then, you'll be giving Locks of Love healthier, stronger hair.
Posted by: Katie at March 03, 2006 12:54 AM (ZDYYP)
21
Hell no. It doesn't have to be down to your butt, but PLEASE keep it past your shoulders.
Long hair is sexy.
Posted by: Geoffrey at March 03, 2006 07:24 AM (F/kLy)
22
My opinion is to be taken with a grain of salt because DH resists my cutting THE HAIR ON MY HEAD, EVER.
But here goes:
It's only hair. No matter WHAT you do to it, be it permanent wave, bleaching, coloring, cutting -- it's going to come back. So do what you want to it! Enjoy!
You'll know where to find me at The Old Folks' Home: I'll be the white/gray-haired old lady with purple streaks running through it.
Mwheh!
xoxo
Posted by: Margi at March 03, 2006 12:10 PM (BRtaN)
23
I've managed to save up roughly $28640 in my bank account, but I'm not sure if I should buy a house or not. Do you think the market is stable or do you think that home prices will decrease by a lot?
Posted by: Courtney Gidts at May 19, 2006 10:49 AM (ZILko)
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