We're off to see the wizard

Out and about over the long holiday weekend, so if you're bored with the lack of interesting posts, check out the blogrolls!

Or better yet, go wish the Feisty One a Happy Birthday!

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Last One for Rob

My favorite of today's tributes to Acidman.  Mostly because of their honesty.  Rob would have enjoyed them.

Kelley

Jim

Juliette

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Gut Rumbles

Maybe this is TMI, but the King of Crap Blogging is laughing his ass off somewhere.  You see, I missed his online memorial because I was stuck to a toilet.  Yeah, we have wireless internet, but at the time, I was a little too screwed up to care....

Anyway, here's my contribution, late as it is.

I will never forget Rob's shifty cracker sense of humor, his delight in all things foul, his hatred of cats, and the pathological fear of snakes that we both shared.  I never had a chance to tell him how much in awe I was of his being able to actually kill the damn things, where I would have run screaming for 911.

I will remember how he called me his "favorite rocket scientist" and coopted me into his red-toenail brigade.

But most of all I will never forget two things about Rob:  His honesty and his abiding love for his family.  Yeah, he saw things from his own, sometimes twisted, point of view, but he wouldn't bullshit you about something important.  And, for all of his BS, the love he had for his family was never in doubt.

The world is a lot poorer without him.  I hope God appreciates the company.

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It's pronounced "Jeff"

Happy Birthday to former CA blogger Xrlq!

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Welcome Back!

After an extensive amount of down time, beefing up their security after the great MuNu DDOS in June, the JAWAS have returned!

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One more for Rob

Rob's memorial will be Thursday afternoon in Savannah.  More details can be found here.

If you'd like to leave the family a note of condolence, there's an obituary here, with links to a guestbook where you can leave the family a message.


Update: Rob's Obit from the Savannah Morning News is here.

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The perfect sendoff

Thanks, Chris.  He would have been so pleased.  Of course, he would have made fun of it the whole time.

It's amazing how someone you've never met can mean so much to your life.  Especially someone as f'ed up as Rob.  But he made me laugh everyday, he sent biting little emails designed to knock me out of my happy place, and he MEANT it when he called me darlin'.

One of the finest compliments I've received in blogging was being asked to cover for him while he was in Willingway, and so many of the blogfriends I've made, I've made through Rob.  He touched a lot of people.

Sam and Quinton, your daddy was a lot of things, many of them not great, but he was a gifted writer and musician, and his unique perspective meant a lot to a lot of people.  I hope that in time you'll be blessed by this and you'll come to value the gift that he leaves behind in his archives.  Most kids don't get to look into their parent's thoughts, but you have a treasure trove of pieces of your Dad's life.  I hope that his writings show you how much he loved you and your uncle and your grandmother and great-grandmother, because family was clearly the best thing in his life.

I will miss him more than I should, I think, and when next I lift a glass, it will be in his memory.  Godspeed, Aciddude.

And Rob would have loved this, too.

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Sad News

My evil Fairy blogfather, Rob Smith, also known as Acidman of Gut Rumbles, passed away this morning.

Not many details are available.

My thoughts and prayers are with his daughter Sam and son Quinton, who I know will miss him very much.

I'll miss you, you lousy cracker son-of-a-bitch.  And I regret that I never was able to meet you and buy you a drink (back in the day when you actually partook).

If Rob was a part of your life, let Sam know, and leave her a comment here.

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Babies and more babies...

Since she announced it, I can post it, I guess.

Jen (and Beau) are pregnant! YAY! Due date some time near Valentine's Day.


Congratulations are also in order for Brandon of Brandon's Puppy. His mom Amanda is going to give him a baby brother or sister sometime towards the end of February!

What is this with bloggers and winter babies?  Drake, Babylove, and Valerie are all snowflake babies.  Huh.  In fact, the boys even have the same birthday, just a year apart.

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They grow up so fast!

My darling blog-child celebrates (real life) birthday number 50 today!

Happy Birthday, Paul, and many many more!

Drop by and leave him a note, would you?

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Mwahahahahahaha

That's hockey for ya':

RALEIGH, NC-- Only hours after the Carolina Hurricanes won the NHL Championship Monday night in a hard-fought Game 7 against the Edmonton Oilers, North Carolina Gov. Michael Easley mobilized the National Guard to contain over two dozen members of what he described as "some sort of depraved, violent, heretofore unheard-of gang calling themselves the Hurricanes."

"These strange men came out of nowhere with absolutely no warning," Easley said of the Stanley Cup-winning Hurricanes, who emptied garbage cans, overturned vehicles and set them aflame, looted local businesses, and frightened hundreds of citizens out of their sleep. "Nobody had ever heard of them before. No one knows what they want. And nobody knows why they were acting so crazy."

Police chief Jane Perlov is reporting that the NHL club, which was known as the Hartford Whalers until moving to North Carolina in 1997 and has struggled to attract much local attention, "somehow gained access to Raleigh's RBC Center earlier Monday, engaged in some sort of ritualistic violence involving sticks and nets, and then proceeded to drink heavily before heading to their cars."

I love it when The Onion gets the accessory facts more correct than the REAL local paper.....

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Behind the times as usual...

You Belong in 1959

If you scored... 1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in! 1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too. 1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all! 1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day. 1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

h/t 1970's Beth

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Skool's out for summer....

Taking today off to help hubby clean out his classroom.  He has to be done by 12:30 or so.  And then he gets something like 4 weeks off before he starts a summer workshop.  At least he's getting paid for it!

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Good Advice!

Fifteen Ways To Avoid A Good Southern Ass Whuppin -

(Issued by the Southern Tourism Bureau to ALL visiting Northerners And Northeastern Urbanites)

1) Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It's just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know.  If you confuse them, they'll kick your ass.

2) Don't laugh at our Southern names (Merlene, Bodie, Ovine, Luther Ray, Tammy Lynn, Darla Beth, Laura Jo Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, Perky, Becky Sue, etc.). Or we will just HAVE to kick your ass.

3) Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down here.  Down here it's called Coke. Nobody gives a flying damn whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever-  it's still a Coke. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to an ass kicking.

4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g.,Welty, Williams, Faulkner). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer. Don't refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies, or we'll kick your ass.

5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of Fed Ex, Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally, we do, sometimes, have small lapses in judgment (e.g., Carter, Edwards, Duke, Barnes, Clinton). We don't care if you think we are dumb. We are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the Senate. If someone tried to do that, we would kick their ass.

6) Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. If you visit Stone Mountain and complain about the carving, we'll kick your ass.

7) We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the hell up. Just spend your money and get the hell out of here, or we'll kick your ass.

Don't order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will instantly know that you're a Yankee. Eat your biscuits like God intended - with gravy. And don't EVER put sugar on your grits, or we'll kick your ass.

9) Don't fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot, and you will get your ass kicked.

10) Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we know better. Many of us have visited Northern shitholes like Detroit, Chicago , and DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you don't like it here, Delta is ready when you are. Move your ass on home before it gets kicked.

11) Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we don't want to sound like you. We don't care if you don't understand what we are saying. All other Southerners understand what we are saying,  and that's all that matters. Now, go away and leave us alone, or we'll kick your ass.

12) Don't complain that the South is dirty and polluted.  None of OUR lakes or rivers have caught fire recently. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty, we'll kick your ass all the way back to Boston Harbor.

13) Don't ridicule our Southern manners. We say sir and ma'am. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grandmothers or they'll kick some manners into your ass just like they did ours.

14) So you think we're quaint or losers because most of us live in the countryside? That's because we have enough sense to not live in filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or Baltimore. Make fun of our fresh air, and we'll kick your ass.

15) Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here and tell us how to cook barbecue. This will get your ass shot (right after it is kicked).  You're lucky we let you come down here at all. Criticize our barbecue, and you will go home in a pine box.. . . Minus your ass.

Clearly this last is the most important!
h/t Gay Patriot Bruce

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Gnarly!

Not only do these guys sound pretty good, they have a cool name and awesome taste in costumery:

Gnarls Barkley at the MTV Music Awards

You know, when I was a kid, I always thought Darth Vader would be black under the mask....
h/t Dean

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This is pretty accurate....

You Are 56% Lady

You're part lady, part modern woman. Etiquette is important to you, but you brush aside rules that are outdated or silly.

from slightly less lady-like Deb

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Storm Warning

There's nothing else to say, except this:

Justin Williams (left) and Eric Staal know the Stanley Cup is theirs after Williams scored into an empty net to give Carolina a 3-1 lead. (AP Photo/Ann Heisenfelt)

"It's just surreal," said Rod Brind'Amour, the Hurricanes' 35-year-old captain, after winning his first Stanley Cup in his 16th NHL season. (Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)

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Irony of the day

Lifted wholesale from Insty:

AL GORE WON'T ENDORSE JOE LIEBERMAN. Comment: "I guess Lieberman would have been good enough to run the government if something bad happened to Gore. But he's not obviously the best qualified to be the junior senator from Connecticut, even though he had the same job when Gore tapped him in 2000."

Wow.  Either being POTUS has lower requirements than I thought, or Algore has just reinvented the internet...  Who needs Algore anyway?  I love Joe, and I'd vote for him in a heartbeat!

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Cluck off, Chickie!

Last week, the Dixie Chicks ruffled a few feathers when singer Natalie Maines dismissed her ENTIRE fan base, saying,

"I'd rather have a smaller following of really cool people who get it, who will grow with us as we grow and are fans for life, than people that have us in their five-disc changer with Reba McEntire and Toby Keith," she told Time. "We don't want those kinds of fans. They limit what you can do."

This week, she's back, and served up her other foot for another tasty meal:

"The entire country may disagree with me, but I don't understand the necessity for patriotism," Maines resumes, through gritted teeth. "Why do you have to be a patriot? About what? This land is our land? Why? You can like where you live and like your life, but as for loving the whole country… I don't see why people care about patriotism."--emphasis mine, ed.

No wonder the Clucks are having a hard time selling out arenas in places like Memphis, Indianapolis, and Fresno.  Yeah, their album debuted at #1, but anyone in the biz will tell you that album sales mean nothing to the artist.  They make all of their money touring.  Cancelling concerts is bad  news on the pocketbook.  Especially the new Louis Vuitton ones, right, Natalie?

All the snark aside, I'd like to remind Ms. Maines and her colleagues that the SINGLE, ONLY, UNIQUE, UNITARY, etc. reason that she has this soapbox, that she's made all the money in her bank account, that she can fly to France or the UK whenever she wants and spout off about this country is that she is a CITIZEN OF THE US.

Don't love your country, Natalie, it's ok.   Really, The rest of us could give a shit.  But don't tell us we're stupid for caring.  Don't tell us that you like your life and then spit in the face of those people who have died or sacrificed much so that you can live the way you do.

Why should people care about patriotism, Natalie?  Well, because patriotism created this country, it sacrificed to preserve out way of life, and continues to do so over and over again every day.  Patriotism is why you can stand on your soapbox and denounce the President.  Patriotism is why you speak English, not German or Japanese.  Patriotism provides you with the security to go about your business and raise your children as you see fit.

The truth is, see, that in the long run, it is the patriot whose contributions will matter.  The small effort of each individual to preserve and prolong the grand experiment in democracy started more than 200 years ago by another group of patriots whose motives were questioned by ignorant fools like you.  Your contributions, your songs, your rabble rousing, your chicken feet tatoos; they'll all be gone with the proverbial wind.  But this country, and the patriots who protect her, will still be here.

What was the most popular song/singer of 1776?  You don't know?  Well, in 2206 I can assure you the same answer will be spoken in response to "Who were the Dixie Chicks?"

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Pretty Much, Yeah.

Your Bumper Sticker Should Be

I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to!

h/t alien-prone Jen

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