An Open Letter to new Nobel Laureate algore
Dear Former Vice President Gore,
First of all let me congratulate you on winning this year's Nobel Peace Prize. Of course, that accomplishment would be so much more meaningful if the award hadn't become synonymous with the "Annual Best Politically Correct Jerkwad" award, which the Nobel Committee seems to have merged their award with. I suppose, however, that sharing this honor with the last American to win the prize, former President Jimmy Carter, gives you a real sense of just what this honor means, and how your legacy will be cherished in your decline.
But I have a serious question for you. What in hell does your Global Warming crusade have to do with promoting Peace on Earth™? I mean do you believe that the only way to stop war is to make it so cold that we'd all rather stay in our own caves rather than shoot someone? Or maybe you believe that anecdotal psychology theory that aggression (which is of course, anti-peace by definition) increases as the temperatures rise? Let's grant for the purposes of this argument that your incoherent, incomplete, and hypocritical pseudoscience is correct, and that people DO make the Earth warmer by a significant amount. Given that, your crusade against Global Warming is admirable, even, perhaps noble. But this is the Nobel PEACE Prize. Not the Nobel "Make the Earth Happy" Prize. It's October, not Earth Day. Explain to me how your actions have anything to do with peace.
Unless somehow being against global warming is really just a fancy synonym for "Troops out of Iraq Now".... because that has something to do with peace. But it really doesn't rise to the level of a Nobel Prize. And here I speak from experience. I went to Caltech. I've met Nobel Laureates. I've been taught by them. And here's the thing: They are FREAKING BRILLIANT. They are committed to their science without any hope of reward, which is what Alfred Nobel left the $$ to recognize in the first place: tireless champions of the greater good, representing different disciplines of the Humanities and Sciences. Not attention seeking environmental hypocrites who champion the environment because it is a safe niche to occupy in the cutthroat social darwinist biosphere of US politics.
I have another question, but this one is for the Nobel Committee, so be sure you pass it along to them when you go for the medal ceremony: If algore has contributed significantly to "Peace on Earth", then why did you recognize him for the Global Warming Awareness crusade? I would think his MOST significant achievements lie in other fields. After all, he invented the internet, technology which has contributed more towards interpersonal, international, and intercultural understanding than any other scientific or humanitarian contribution of the modern age. Isn't that important enough?
I know you're a busy man, especially as you now have to plan a trip to Oslo and contemplate running for President again to add to your incredibly busy fundraising schedule, so I'll close here. However, in closing, I'd like to thank you for the endless amusement you and your family have provided me over the years, not mention answering my questions about the top speed of a Prius (let your son know how much I appreciated that one, will you?). Keep it up!
Posted by: Teresa at October 12, 2007 12:59 PM (rVIv9)
9
BRAVO BRAVO!!
Excellent. I do so want to know what global warming has to do with...world peace? Albore will never answer this and neither will his friends who participated in this fiasco.
Posted by: Raven at October 12, 2007 07:58 PM (BvJsz)
10
Hi Caltech Girl,
First of all I LOVE reading things from Techers. They are the best! I am shamelessly prejudiced, since my own Techer received his undergrad and grad degrees in EE from sunny Pasadena. He loved his Page House experience too.
I am also waiting to see if an MIT girl will also surface with similar sentiments. My other son just graduated from this illustrious Cambridge institution, yet I favor Caltech.
In any event, you sound like you have a great head on your shoulders and are NOT infected with the usual PC liberal left (cesspool) mindset.
Let the liberal, self appointed elite know that NOT everyone is fooled by their self promotion.
Posted by: Adina Kutnicki at October 15, 2007 10:36 AM (d/RyS)
11
"Of course, that accomplishment would be so much more meaningful if the award hadn't become synonymous with the "Annual Best Politically Correct Jerkwad" award"
-when i picked myself up off the floor, i realized i'm going to be laughing at that for an awfully long time.
Kudos.
Posted by: still Unreal... at October 16, 2007 08:34 AM (8dDAl)
1
i feel very bad for the Armenians. But the LORD GOD does remember the oppressed. One comment i would like to make is that in Fergosi's book History of jihad from the Seventh to the Twenty First Centurry. Fergosi revealed that when the turks was engaged in genocide, that at least once the jihadist wasn't satisfied until they open the graves of the dead and also desecrated the bones.
GOD bless Israel, the United States and also CalTechGirl.
stan
Posted by: stan at October 11, 2007 03:12 PM (uFp8Z)
2
i forgot to say at 312PM that it was Armenian graves that was subjected to that insult.
stan
Posted by: stan at October 11, 2007 03:14 PM (uFp8Z)
3
Oh. Some days I like to be enlighted but today I could have done without reading this to piss me off at the world before my vacation. Thanks for keeping us informed, even if I am pissy now.
Posted by: vw bug at October 12, 2007 08:10 AM (FPOeI)
1
Oh, that's great! Have you ever read Science Made Stupid? It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Right up there with Do It Yourself Brain Surgery and Other Home Skills.
Posted by: Teresa at September 28, 2007 10:02 PM (rVIv9)
3
Do they sell these anywhere, and if so, could I make some science with it?
Posted by: pam at September 29, 2007 06:55 AM (l6NIn)
4
I especially like the note: super-heated science.
Posted by: Aaron at September 29, 2007 09:58 AM (x57wb)
5
Per Ken, Science Made Stupid was genius. "Doctor Stupid, why is the sky blue? Because it reflects the sea." The diagram reminds me of the complicated meaningless diagram to illustrate why the Moon stays in orbit instead of falling into the Earth, at the end of which they say, "nevertheless, it's probably a good idea to stay inside as much as possible."
Posted by: Dave J at September 29, 2007 12:58 PM (DU1Mm)
6
Hmmm, intersting. I didn't realize the machine needed scienteists. HEHEHEHE.
BlogCrawl!
Posted by: Contagion at September 30, 2007 12:19 AM (QQZMi)
7
"Turn up the Flash Gordon noise and put more science stuff around!"
Posted by: nightfly at October 01, 2007 09:19 AM (PuuC1)
Munchies that give you the munchies
Magic Brownies are for amateurs. Check out these scooby-doobie snacks:
Federal agents said Thursday that they shut down a factory that made marijuana-laced barbecue sauce, chocolate-covered pretzels and other "enhanced" snacks intended for medical users of the drug.
The Drug Enforcement Agency said it arrested three people Wednesday and is looking for a fourth who operated Oakland-based Tainted Inc.
Agents also seized 460 marijuana plants and other laced products including candy bars, cookies, marshmallow pies, ice cream, peanut butter, jelly, energy drinks and "Rice Krispy treats."
Tainted Inc. was launched by Michael Martin, 33, of El Sobrante as a small operation that made laced chocolate truffles. When it was raided Wednesday, the company was shipping products to medical marijuana dispensaries throughout California and in Seattle; Vancouver, British Columbia; and Amsterdam. [--emphasis mine, Ed.]
What a great way to get people to keep buying your products!
Posted by: Greta at September 28, 2007 09:27 AM (Xl4tG)
2
Wait a minute.
Tainted, Inc. ? Tainted, Inc? Why would anyone think it a good idea to name your food business Tainted? Aside from truth in advertising laws.
One one hand it invites scrutiny from the media and the government. On the other hand, it would seem likely to drive away potential customers.
Oh well. Forget logic.... have a brownie, and it will all make sense!
Posted by: Bill at September 28, 2007 10:24 AM (bpbQx)
3
the munchies and the solution for the munchies, all in one bite
Posted by: jane at September 28, 2007 01:16 PM (d/RyS)
4
Marijuana laced barbecue sauce and Moon Pies!? They'd be a hit in the South!
Happy BlogCrawl 2007!
Posted by: Bitterroot at September 29, 2007 06:54 PM (jZGuZ)
Trust No One
Even the cops. They might not be who you think they are....
The Los Angeles Police Department said Friday morning that officers had arrested a man who allegedly impersonated a police officer and robbed an elderly couple at knifepoint in their Reseda townhouse.
[...]
When the robber knocked on the couple's door, he identified himself as an officer and asked about an auto accident that they had been involved in earlier in the day. The robber pulled out a knife when he was asked to show identification.
What the article doesn't say, but which was reported live on KNBC's Today in LA program this morning, is that the thief didn't just identify himself as a cop. He was wearing a dark blue uniform similar to LAPD, and came to the door posing as a traffic officer. When the husband got nervous and asked for ID, he reached into his pocket and pulled a knife instead of credentials.
At first LAPD were afraid that the couple might have been targeted by information leaked from their office, however (and of course they didn't just come out and say this) it seems that the thief is linked to the accident. What the police ARE saying is that the arrest is a DIRECT result of follow up on the accident investigation by Traffic Division.
Clearly this was a well-planned criminal endeavor. The purchase of the uniform indicates that much. So watch out. There are assholes out there who will hit your car, get your information and come to your house late at night to rob you, posing as the police.
Some tips:
1. If the police knock on your door, ALWAYS ask for Badge and ID. A real policeman will generally offer it before you ask, or will hand it over without question.
2. If you are still unsure, ask the policeman for a moment to verify the credentials. It's ok to call 911 (or your local PD number if you have it handy) and verify the name and badge number as an on-duty officer assigned to come to your home.
3. If you are unsure that the car attempting to pull you over is a real policeman (unfortunately there were a number of sexual assaults in LA in the past with guys posing as cops...), put on your flashers, and get to a secure, well-lighted place with people around, such as a gas station, etc. A real cop won't be put off when you explain your concern for your safety, and you just might deter a bad guy.
4. If you are in an accident, insist the police come to the scene. In many jurisdictions, including City of Los Angeles, the police have a system for collecting information from ALL parties, and keeping that confidential. All the parties get is a five-digit case number, which, along with the officer's name and the date/time of the accident can be used by the INSURANCE company to get the accident report and the parties' personal information. Actually, anyone with that information can get a copy of the report, but it costs around $20, a bad investment for a crook, generally. Furthermore, if something like what happened to the couple in the story happens to you, if the police come to the accident scene, they already know where to find the bad guys.
Posted by: Margi at September 21, 2007 02:29 PM (zFQsX)
2
Most important, remember never, ever, ever let a cop into your house for any reason unless they have a warrant or you called them there. And even if you called them, it's best to talk to them outside.
Posted by: Contagion at September 21, 2007 03:10 PM (QQZMi)
3
We have had several cases in New England. In one case a "cop" pulled over a girl. He had the flashing lights, uniform, badge and everything and then he raped her. You cannot trust anyone.
Posted by: Lukie at September 21, 2007 04:39 PM (WXIEq)
4
Wow- thats scary stuff. But you give good advice to counter the bad guys.
Posted by: Raven at September 21, 2007 05:52 PM (2N9m8)
5
I agree about the warrant and if they say they just want to ask me a few questions and refuse to tell me what it is about I will tell them to fuck off until I see my lawyer...
Posted by: GUYK at September 22, 2007 06:06 AM (uyoGg)
6
if you don't see a squad car and a real uniform, don't open the door. If the guy says he's a detective or undercover, tell him to call a black & white and some uniforms.
Posted by: Mark at September 22, 2007 12:34 PM (AUvbM)
If you like Pina Coladas.... and getting caught in the rain....
A real life couple is divorcing after unwittingly playing out the plot to Rupert Holmes 1979 hit "Escape"....Alas, there would be no happy ending this time:
A married couple are divorcing after they chatted each other up on the Internet using fake names.
Sana Klaric and husband Adnan poured their hearts out to each other over their marriage troubles.
Using the names 'Sweetie' and 'Prince of Joy' in a online chatroom, the pair thought they had found a soulmate with whom to spend the rest of their lives.
[...]
Sana, 27, said: 'I was suddenly in love. It was amazing, we seemed to be stuck in the same kind of miserable marriages. How right that turned out to be.'
But when it dawned on her what had happened, she said: 'I felt so betrayed.'
Adnan, 32, said: 'I still find it hard to believe that Sweetie, who wrote such wonderful things, is actually the same woman I married and who has not said a nice word to me for years.'
Lyrics below the jump for those of you not super familiar with the song.
The first of this year's 9/11 posts
Eat this, truthers.
Dr Keith Seffen set out to test mathematically whether this chain reaction really could explain what happened in Lower Manhattan six years ago. The findings are published in the Journal of Engineering Mechanics.
Previous studies have tended to focus on the initial stages of collapse, showing that there was an initial, localised failure around the aircraft impact zones, and that this probably led to the progressive collapse of both structures.
Once the collapse began, it was destined to be "rapid and total."
In other words, the damaged parts of the tower were bound to fall down, but it was not clear why the undamaged building should have offered little resistance to these falling parts.
"The initiation part has been quantified by many people; but no one had put numbers on the progressive collapse," Dr Seffen told the BBC News website.
Dr Seffen was able to calculate the "residual capacity" of the undamaged building: that is, simply speaking, the ability of the undamaged structure to resist or comply with collapse.
His calculations suggest the residual capacity of the north and south towers was limited, and that once the collapse was set in motion, it would take only nine seconds for the building to go down.
This is just a little longer than a free-falling coin, dropped from the top of either tower, would take to reach the ground.
[...]
He added that his calculations showed this was a "very ordinary thing to happen" and that no other intervention, such as explosive charges laid inside the building, was needed to explain the behaviour of the buildings.
4
How does the mere posting of a referral to a paper not yet even published constitute a "proof" or "demolish" his critics? Where are his assumptions, his calculations, his results? Science works by creating hypotheses, testing them, having them challenged by counter-hypotheses, etc. This type of self-congratulation by those who believe the official account just shows how much we merely rely on the pronouncement of some authority rather than do the much harder work of really examining the evidence on all sides.
Posted by: bsep at September 11, 2007 10:22 AM (pZJrT)
5
Well, since it got published in a well respected journal, I suspect you can do that legwork for yourself. That's how peer-review works, bsep.
Do I really need to post the actual journal article for you?
Don't come on my blog and presume to tell ME about how science works, buddy. I'd delete you without comment, but your stunning lack of understanding of what it means to be published in a leading scientific journal is amusing.
Posted by: caltechgirl at September 11, 2007 11:37 AM (/vgMZ)
6
bsep - you assume that the gentleman in question didn't really examine the evidence from all sides before writing the paper; that the journal in question didn't check his work; that he cited no sources (or that nobody checked them either).
Some people do blindly rely on authority. Others just as blindly dismiss authority, and routinely suspect any supporting evidence the authority gives for itself. Nothing convinces such a person becuase every new reason just becomes "part of the coverup," another suspect "fact" from the authority itself - and any third party is automatically "selling out" if they agree.
If you really prefer to rely on evidence, this is a foolish way to live.
Posted by: nightfly at September 12, 2007 10:05 AM (PuuC1)
Posted by: DirtCrashr at September 13, 2007 09:22 AM (VNM5w)
8
the guys at popular mechanics have explored every one of these conspiracy theories and torn each one into bits. it is too bad that some people are too stupid to look at the facts and go from that but instead let their crazy gene take over and talk for them making them look stupid. dont they see all they are doing is making the conspiracy theorists look even stupider? anyone with a conspiracy theory has a motive for that theory and it usually goes back and benefits the original theorist in some way.
http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/military_law/1227842.html?page=1
take a look at the popular mechanics research and if you still have a theory that has not been debunked then say something. otherwise, nobody wants to hear your uninformed crazy babble.
Posted by: Kimmy at September 13, 2007 11:24 PM (wGvEl)
9
Kimmy and Caltechgirl
Ask around campus abut a guy named Richard Feynman who figured out the cause of failure for the first space shuttle. He has some wise stuff to say about science and honesty. How does WTC 7 come down, look in slow motion as the towers come down. How does gravity create the POWDER and the Flashes and the sustained collapse??? You have the name of Cal Tech to Honor and Support!!
Posted by: Thomas Spellman at September 19, 2007 02:45 PM (11Qpf)
Ummmm, enough with the Pay to Blog crap, ok? (UPDATED)
I mean, I totally get that it's a great way to make extra $$ and I love all of you, but I swear to ALLAH, that if I see THE SAME DAMN ADVERTISEMENT on multiple blogs again I AM GOING TO QUIT READING BLOGS WITH PAID POSTS.
ESPECIALLY when they aren't labeled as sponsored posts. If some posts are labeled and some aren't, it can be annoying.
I wouldn't bitch, except this happened twice in 10 minutes. Sheesh.
UPDATE: Pam has an interesting discussion here in the comments. I said this:
The honesty issue bugs me, too. ThatÂ’s one of the things that gets to me. I mean, why is someone who I know to be a homebody suddenly dreaming about Vegas? Or a healthy person expounding on the virtues of lap band surgery? Which is why the NOT labeling posts gets to me, too. It seems dishonest. Especially when other posts are clearly labeled as sponsored posts.
What set me off the other day, though, was multiple posts on the same advertisers. It was just too weird.
I know some of you were upset and unhappy with what you felt was me pointing fingers, and I'm sorry if you were offended by what I said, originally, and I have edited myself. Clearly though, this is an issue that people care about.
PS: Any of you with paid posts should know better. I'll be back. I'm an addict, after all. Just frustrated.
1
Yeah, I'm actually to the point on some blogs of being constantly worried some cute story is going to end up being an ad. Like I need to be on guard... Blah. Gotta be a better way folks. :/
Posted by: silvermine at August 24, 2007 06:44 PM (BDg5W)
Posted by: zonker at August 24, 2007 07:02 PM (PrUNH)
3
Zonk, buddy, as often as you comment, it would COST me $$ to send you a check.
Posted by: caltechgirl at August 24, 2007 07:22 PM (IfXtw)
4
Sorry! sometimes the advertisers request that the post NOT be labeled an ad. I'd rather have a little disclosure on it too.
BTW, look at the bright side, me, the slacking blogger, is getting more posts in. ;-)
Posted by: Amanda at August 24, 2007 07:50 PM (NF0f8)
5
I don't do sponsored posts... then again I don't get enough traffic to make it worthwhile even if I wanted to - which I don't. *grin*
Posted by: Teresa at August 24, 2007 09:50 PM (rVIv9)
Posted by: Sam at August 24, 2007 10:15 PM (b1/rU)
7
I'd be just AWFUL at the art of posting for dollars. I mean, my segues would be like, "So, buy this brand of adult diapers, OK? Or don't. I mean, just go ahead and pee yourselves. I guess I don't really care. Now back to my dog fart story."
Posted by: dogette at August 25, 2007 08:51 AM (q/UVc)
8
I have never been sooo happy to see my name missing from a list. Yes, I do paid posts. Those little $5 to $10 things actually help pay for presents for the kids. But I try to make sure everyone knows up front so you can skip it if you want. Thanks for the heads up... I'll lay off for a month or two. Looks like it is annoying a large group. I thought I was not doing it too often... but... I completely understand the annoyance.
Posted by: vw bug at August 25, 2007 10:53 AM (FPOeI)
9
I have thought about posting for dollars..but not seriously. First of all it just don't pay enough to make it worth while..some of the real big dawgs that get a million hits a month probably can make enough to more than pay for their site rent but I figure that as long as blogger is free I don't need the extra bucks to pay for my bloggin'. And besides, once one starts taking money from these people they might just want to have some control over what I do..I mean look at congress..
Posted by: GUYK at August 25, 2007 02:07 PM (uyoGg)
10
You know, I signed up for PPP a few months ago, just to experiment. I did one post ($6) and haven't done any more. Most of the stuff they have for bloggers to plug is stuff I wouldn't right about, so I'm not doing it if it's that big of a stretch.
Now if people want to send me free crap to review, well that's a different matter altogether! Free stuff = AOK in my book. And people can easily skip those reviews with me. I do so few (OK, I've done one. ;-) And I have another one to do...).
Posted by: Marie at August 25, 2007 04:08 PM (ocfI9)
Posted by: wRitErsbLock at August 25, 2007 07:52 PM (0Pi1o)
12
Teresa, you have a very good Alexa ranking since you're on munu, and you would probably be eligible for a lot of posts for which I'm not. I don't know if they've caught on and excluded munu (blogspot is excluded on most, because they can't get an accurate Alexa ranking), but I haven't seen it listed anywhere.
Posted by: sarahk at August 25, 2007 09:38 PM (QLpkT)
13
LOL - Sarah, I've never looked at my Alexa rating - it's funny to think I'd rank so highly.
Still, on the pay for posting, I won't be doing it. I don't need the money so I'll leave it for people it can really help and make a difference. :-)
Posted by: Teresa at August 26, 2007 09:00 AM (rVIv9)
14
Dang. I just realized I vented my spleen -- er, my Venom -- on you without actually intending YOU to be the recipient. This entry did annoy me, primarily because I hate getting lumped in with other people. (I'm VK. I'm special. I'm a legend in my own mind. Just ask me!)
But now that I've taken my hostilities out on two of my blogs (and on my bathroom, dishes, garden and carpet), I do get where you're coming from.
Which is NOT to say that I enjoy being part of a lump. (And, also: I don't have that great of traffic.)
I adore you, CTG, and it pained me to think that you are so dissatisfied with my blogs that I'd lose you as a Venomite.
I'm sorry if I was harsh. I wanted to tell you that here in front of your readers (and I've said as much at my site so mine know it as well).
But as for specifically labeling posts as "sponsored" simply because I work in a paid link, I'm not going to do that. Why? For the precise reason you've indicated: you won't read them.
I believe a well-written post that happens to include a sponsored link should still be well-written regardless of the sponsored link. The honesty of the writing around the sponsored link is what I owe my readers. Nothing more and nothing less.
And that's what I'll agree to give, too.
Posted by: Venomous Kate at August 28, 2007 05:18 PM (fBHz6)
15
I've completely stopped reading bloggers who've gone to ppp, because of many of the reasons you've listed. I figure, why even blog then, if all you're going to do is advertise. I guess to me, a blog is an extension of who I am, and writing up ads for someone wouldn't be worth the money I pay for the space.
But then again, I eschew meme's for the most part too. Not that my entries aren't anything other than crap, but it's MY crap, that I wrote. At least then if someone reads it, they weren't duped into thinking they had to buy some product. I'm pretty up front about the fact that my posts are nothing but liquid brain poo.
Posted by: statia at August 30, 2007 05:09 PM (lHsKN)
16
Paid posts? Seriously? I haven't run across it yet. At least, not that I know of...
Posted by: Ith at August 31, 2007 03:10 PM (BUto8)
Something Smells....
Last night around 1 am we were awakened to what sounded like someone rummaging through our kitchen cabinets. We both jumped out of bed, and went to the kitchen, but there was no one there. There were however strange noises emanating from the side of the house. Hubby went upstairs to make sure there was no one in the attic, and I went over to the front window to look out.
A few moments later the thumping outside stopped, and we heard some high-pitched shrieking, sort of a mix between a cat in heat and a screech owl. As I looked out the window, I began to discern a very characteristic shape..... body slightly larger than a cat, with a tall, bushy tail pointing skyward.
Yep. Pepe Le Pew. In my sideyard.
He/She/It ran across the lawn directly to our neighbor's driveway, and then zig-zagged it's way up the street and around the corner where we lost sight of it. It disappeared before I could go get the camera. Too bad.
There's no sign it was UNDER the house, as the crawlspace cover doesn't appear to have been disturbed, and the only signs of digging are under the fence, but it sprayed somewhere in the vicinity of the front corner of the house, and the REEK was unbelievable, even at 10 am.
We had some fox urine crystals left from the battle with the squirrels, and upon finding them to be useful for skunks, too, hubby has been shaking them all over that side of the house and at the crawlspace entrance. We're also planning to go get a big spotlight to plug in and put under the house tonight, as the experts say that is the best humane way to scare them off, being very nocturnal creatures.
Possums are a pretty common occurrence in Pasadena, they live all over town, and you can tell by the stench after midnight most nights of the year. The skunks are a recent phenomena in our neighborhood, as far as I can tell, as the aroma of the backyard changed only recently. I'm really hoping that means there aren't baby skunks under my house.
11. Josh maded Jecony and hiz bros, was bout when they was carryeded to Babblylon.
12. And after they was in Babblylon Jecon maded Shealty, and Shealty maded Zerubbabbabbabbabba.
13. Zerubbabbabbabbabba maded Abey, Abey maded Eli and Eli maded Az.
14. Az maded Zaddy, Zaddy maded Achy and Achy maded diffrent Eli.
15. Diffrent Eli maded other diffrent Eli, other diffrent Eli maded Matty and Matty maded Jake.
16. And Jake maded Joe. Joe was teh mister of Mary, and she maded Jesus, who gets called Christ, liek all teh time. Srsly.
17. So all teh genenerayshuns from Abe to Dave am 14 genenerayshuns, frm Dave to gettin lockeded up in Babblylon am 14 genenerayshuns, and frm gettin lockeded up in Babblylon to teh Christ am 14 genenerayshuns. Srsly.
18. Now, teh burth of teh Christ was liek dis: After Marry and Joe were all "We's gonna get marrieded, kthnx", but before dey could had teh secks (Not 2 sai dey eva did had secks), Mary was all preggers from the Holey Ghosty.
19. Joe was all liek "Oh snap, dis embarrassin. I's gonna hide mah wife".
20. But when he was tihnkin, zomg, angel frm Invisible Man was in his dreems! Angel sayed "Hai, don't be fraided to has Mary for ur wife, cuz her baby be frm Holey Ghosty.
21. "And she gonna made a son, and you gonna call him Jesus, cuz he gonna save ppl and pwn dere sinz."
22. So all dis was all did so it'd be all liek Invisible Man sayed it was gonna be. His profet was all liek:
23. "Hay guise, look at dis, teh virgin iz all preggers, and dey gonna call him Immany", dat means "Invisible Man wit us"
24. Then Joe woked up, done wat teh angel frm Invisible Man tolded him to, and was all liek "U wit me now (Tho, Mary is teh Invisible Man's wife) lol" at Mary.
25.And dey ner had secks(So dat Mary could be called "Queen of Invisible Man's Kingdom") evn affer dey gets a son and calleded him Jesus.
I especially loved verse 6 and 21.....
h/t redsugar muse
NIV translation below the fold for comparison...
more...
Posted by: Stacy at August 17, 2007 11:40 AM (92p8H)
2
Stacy - it should be OMIM (Oh mai Invisible Man!)
CTG - what a hoot - all that is missing is lolcat pictures and such!
Posted by: Beth at August 17, 2007 11:52 AM (Lx88s)
3
CTG, that sounds VERY like Da Jesus Book, which is the New Testament in Hawaiian pidgen... ;-)
Posted by: Kat at August 17, 2007 12:55 PM (zDl9r)
4
The middle boy and I are trying to figure out if it's blasphemous or not. You're right Beth; didn't read far enough into it to establish that.
Posted by: Stacy at August 17, 2007 02:03 PM (92p8H)
5
It cracks me up. Genesis 1 is hilarious, too. Rachl Lukis sent it to me a while back, and I cackled.
Hears one fing I no getz. How dids teh Christ has brutherz ifs Mary and Joe no haves teh secks? Een burs 25 sez dey DUN IT. Dey yoonyund lik Biblickly.
Posted by: sarahk at August 23, 2007 07:07 AM (QLpkT)
Fun with Google Talk
I know, I am both a geek and a Google whore.
But I love google talk. Not the least of which includes the fact that you can run Gtalk from your Gmail without having to download the chat program or that you don't need to add people to your list manually, all you have to do is send them an email from your Gmail account.
But by far my favorite aspect of google talk is the "status message" that you can customize. That's so much better than "available" or "not available"
Recent status messages I've posted:
I am not among the rice-eating robots I wish I'd never been broiled I have a date with Harry Potter Ice! We have Ice! I'm afraid of Farmer Shootypants too
I've noticed some of you getting into the act too! Notably sarahk and Paul Burgess who usually have an amusing message attached to their avatar...
So, fellow googleheads, do you have Gtalk? Do you like to leave wacky messages on your "status" line too?
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My personal message: "I'm ur huckleberry.", from the movie Tombstone! LOL
I use google chat ALL THE TIME. How come I never see you on there?!
Posted by: c.a. Marks at July 23, 2007 12:05 PM (T7eG4)
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my AIM away message is usually "this is me ignoring you"
does that count?
Posted by: wRitErsbLock at July 23, 2007 12:07 PM (+MvHD)
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nope, go with the default most of the time. Occasionally I will use a Pinky and brain phrase... -)
Posted by: vw bug at July 23, 2007 01:01 PM (FPOeI)
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You..and your blog..both rock.
I'm blog rolling you as we speak.
Posted by: Aaron Proctor at July 23, 2007 01:07 PM (ygCF+)
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Yes, my away message on Google Talk is "gone to jupiter." Which is short for "gone to jupiter past six months."
And the proper rejoinder to that is, "not father but son."
It's an old in-joke between my brother and myself. Many years ago our dad had a small mail-order business, which we used to help out on. Sometimes he would fall behind on orders, and send customers these rather wacked-out excuses, which my brother and I used to sum up privately as "gone to jupiter past six months," and "not father but son."
Posted by: Paul Burgess at July 23, 2007 02:40 PM (7EVyU)
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Oh, word...I always g-talk (and I always see you on it, too). The latest? "Be nice to the Joo." Otherwise I usually post crap in Yiddish, German or Hebrew, which nobody besides me understands.
Posted by: Erica at July 24, 2007 05:25 AM (n1ABe)
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Oh yes. I'm always changing it up. It's to amuse the other gtalkers; yes, I'm a dork.
Posted by: sarahk at July 30, 2007 11:02 AM (QLpkT)
Ok, I love Jon Lovitz now.
I've never been a big fan of Jon Lovitz, except for maybe his "Satan" gig on SNL, but from now on, he's on my "good guys in Hollywood" list, regardless of his politics:
It was fight night at an L.A. comedy club last week when Jon Lovitz roughed up Andy Dick over the murder of their "Saturday Night Live" colleague, Phil Hartman.
Laugh Factory owner Jamie Masada, who witnessed the assault, said, "Jon picked Andy up by the head and smashed him into the bar four or five times, and blood started pouring out of his nose." Lovitz told Page Six, "All the comedians are glad I did it because this guy is a [bleep]hole."
Lovitz and Dick have been at loggerheads since a 1997 Christmas party at Hartman's house, five months before his troubled wife Brynn flipped out, fatally shooting Hartman, then killing herself. "Andy was doing cocaine, and he gave Brynn some after she had been sober for 10 years. Phil was furious about it - and then five months later he's dead," said Lovitz, adding that when he filled in on Hartman's "Newsradio" sitcom, "I told Andy, 'I wouldn't be here now if you hadn't given Brynn that cocaine.' "
Last year, Lovitz related, a drunken Dick strolled up to his table at Ago in West Hollywood, rudely downed his guests' peach liqueur drinks, and "looked at me and said, 'I put the "Phil Hartman hex" on you - you're the next one to die.' I said, 'What did you say?' and he repeated it. I wanted to punch his face in, but I don't hit women."
When the two ran into each other at the Laugh Factory last Wednesday, "I wanted him to say he was sorry for the 'Phil Hartman hex,' " Lovitz told us. "First he says, 'I don't remember saying that.' Then he leans in and says, 'You know why I said it? Because you said I killed Phil Hartman.' Which I never said. Then he asked me to be in his new movie.
"I grabbed him by the shirt and leaned him over and said, 'I don't want to be in your movie! I don't want to be in your life!' I pushed him against the rail. Then I pushed him again really hard. A security guard broke it up. I'm not proud of it . . . but he's a disgusting human being." Dick's rep said he had no comment.
Good Job, Jon. I sincerely hope you don't get arrested for it because this? It's justice. Pure and simple. Not to mention that you pounded him in the coke-hole he calls a nose. Bravo. Dick is such an appropriate name for that schmuck. He needs some help. Maybe you scared him into it. But I doubt it.
For your enjoyment, here's Jon and the late, great Phil Hartman in a sketch entitled "Discover- The Elements":
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This is the post I *wish* I had written. I had a huge crush on both Phil Hartman and Jon Lovitz, before Phil was killed, and so I was devastated and furious over the whole thing.
News Radio (not to mention, SNL, which goes without saying) was one of the best shows ever, and yet, I never took to Andy Dick. He was such a measily little pricklet, so...let me just say...
The guy TOTALLY had it coming to him, and I'm glad that Jon Lovitz was the guy to do it. I feel like I owe it to myself to watch SNL this weekend, to see if they do a sketch about it.
Yeah, I'm with you on this one. Will the *real* J-Lo please step forward?!
Word.
Posted by: Erica at July 18, 2007 11:05 AM (cs95G)
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I loved Phil Hartman's routine and acting. Lovitz was hit and miss, but I hated Andy Dick.
Posted by: Contagion at July 18, 2007 04:13 PM (gSaan)
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Alright, well..you know...I was good friends with John Lovitz. Dat's why he has a mullet now...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TT32h4h6-Jg
Yeah, yeah, that's the ticket!
Posted by: zonker at July 21, 2007 12:19 AM (PrUNH)
Charlotte Mayor won't apologize for telling the truth
Pat McCrory, Mayor of Charlotte NC tells it like it is:
The NAACP wants Charlotte Mayor Pat McCrory to apologize for remarks he made about African American youth after last week's arrests during Fourth of July festivities in uptown.
Ken White, president of the Charlotte Branch of the NAACP, on Wednesday called the mayor's comments "insensitive" and said he's concerned they painted "African American youth with a broad swath that cuts deep in many of our communities."
McCrory's comments came July 5 in a letter to the city manager congratulating police on their efforts the night before, when 169 people were arrested in uptown. McCrory also wrote that "too many of our youth, primarily African American, are imitating and/or participating in a gangster type of dress, attitude, behavior and action."
Later Wednesday, McCrory said he won't apologize.
Why not?
"Because my comments were accurate. Period."
Mayor McCrory's comments, as discussed above, were in regards to many arrests at the city's 4th of July celebration. From the Charlotte Observer:
The uptown crowd was primarily African American, as were most of those arrested: Of 143 adults arrested, 122 were black. Police later noted that those arrested comprised fewer than 1 percent of the uptown revelers.
Mayor McCrory went on to explain both his statements, and why he refuses to apologize:
McCrory ... cited statistics showing more than 60 percent of Charlotte's gang members are African American. And, he said, the victims of gang violence also tend to be black.
"One thing we agree on is that it is a horrible stereotype," McCrory said, "but it's being perpetuated by those who continue to dress like, behave like and act like gang members. It's not productive to our community, our neighborhoods, our schools, or to those individuals who are doing it."
Kudos for Mayor McCrory for saying the truth, and refusing to back down from it. Too often in this society our leaders back down from a stand because powerful opposition groups (in this case the NAACP) start threatening them.
But I must echo LaShawn Barber and ask: When did it become more of a crime in this country to SAY that something is wrong, than to do the wrong thing?
LaShawn goes on:
Too many black “youth” eschew education and decent living, while embracing a lifestyle that glorifies criminal activity, triflingness (yes, there’s such a word), and having illicit and zero-responsibility sex with as many women as possible. The resultant children are sentenced to fatherless homes and instability. That, too, makes me sick to my stomach.
...
Blacks cannot complain about what white people may or may not be doing to them when they don’t even care about their own children. I’ve lost patience with it, and I advise everybody — no matter what color you are — to stop being afraid of the truth or of black people making demands. Take it from an insider: the bark, as loud and annoying as it is, is much worse than the bite.
It's my hope that more of our leaders, of ALL colors, stand up and ask the tough questions and give the tough answers about what's wrong in our communities, following Pat McCrory's example.
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Hey, if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's gotta be a duck, right?
Posted by: Michele at July 14, 2007 10:47 AM (EVoot)
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Thanks for the post...if you blame all your problems on someone else but don't DO anything FOR yourself, you'll have exactly nothing. (LaShawn Barber is one amazing woman!)
Posted by: Mrs. Who at July 15, 2007 10:47 AM (9FXen)
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No doubt that there is still a lot of prejudice in the USA..and throughout the world. But denying the short comings of a particular race or creed is not gonna solve a damn thing. When was the last time you heard about the white race defending white trash just because they were white?
Clearly you have learned nothing, either from your master's thesis at Columbia, or about your own children.
But that's not surprising, given that you would publicly insult your own son. Calling him a pawn is pretty low. As if he can't think for himself. I don't know whether that says more about his shallowness, or YOUR inability to mold him into a self-reliant and thoughtful young man if you think so poorly of his ability to make decisions about his life.
You say your life is surrounded by signs and symbols of the military. Perhaps you should take advantage of your unique situation and learn about that which you seem to loathe without understanding.
Oh, and one more thing. You say you are worried about how the experience will affect your son. You worry he will be seriously harmed. But did you ever think that maybe he might be changed for the better? That perhaps the "horrors" he sees over there will spur him on to great things? That he might dedicate himself to removing the suffering of others.
I wish you luck in dealing with your issues, and I thank your son for the choice he made to serve our country.
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She is an idiot... says a mom whose son is set to deploy to Iraq in short order.
Posted by: Teresa at July 11, 2007 05:44 PM (gsbs5)
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Do you think with an article like that her son will feel inspired to come home???!!!! Maybe he's trying to just get away from her...kind of sounds like Cindy Sheehan's son.
I'm putting Mary Jo's son in my prayers.
Posted by: Mrs. Who at July 12, 2007 08:05 AM (9FXen)
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Amen, CTG. Couldn't have said it better than you already have but I suppose that's par for the course. 'Twas good to talk to you this evening. Let me know if you ever lack for depraved text messages. I'm here for you. W00t!
Posted by: zonker at July 20, 2007 11:54 PM (PrUNH)
Yay! I'm defective!
At least according to Benny 16:
Pope Benedict XVI has reasserted the universal primacy of the Roman Catholic Church, approving a document released Tuesday that says Orthodox churches were defective and that other Christian denominations were not true churches.
Here we go again. Watch the idiots erupt in 3.... 2..... 1......
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Heh... Everyone says that their religion is the one true faith... I am Catholic, but I've heard this stuff from the heads of other organizations as well.
Even Scientologists think their 'religion' is the only way to go...
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Hi CalTechGirl!
I would note a few things:
1. Merely on branding purposes, what else would the CEO of the RCC say? "Eh, join, don't join, all churches are pretty much the same, Ned."
2. The Nicene Creed says "one holy catholic and apostolic church;" thus, there is one church. We Christians have been haggling over the meaning of that ever since.
3. Actually, the RCC says it knows where the church definitely is, but it doesn't know where it's not.
4. Technically, the RCC says it's the Church (as well as the Eastern Orthodox, but I've never met any Eastern Orthodox and I think someone made them up), and the Protestant churches are "ecclesial bodies" made up of Christians who don't "have the fullness of the faith."
Does that help?
Posted by: IB Bill at July 10, 2007 12:58 PM (3Vvjw)
Ex-Fresno State coach wins multi-million $$ lawsuit against the school!
I hate to say it, but Fresno State has a history of robbing the poor (women's sports programs) to feed the rich (men's football and basketball). Volleyball coach Lindy Vivas was fired for standing up to them, so she took them to court.
And won. $5.85 MILLION. And guess what? She's not the only one. There are two more lawsuits pending, including one from the former women's basketball coach that ought to blow the doors off the good ol' boys club that is the FSU athletic office.
A jury on Monday awarded a former Fresno State volleyball coach $5.85 million in damages, ruling that the school discriminated against her for speaking up on behalf of female athletes.
Lindy Vivas, 50, was fired in 2004, two years after coaching her team to its best season in history. University officials said Vivas was let go because she did not meet performance goals and ran a program that often played in empty arenas.
Vivas sued in civil court, saying her contract was not renewed because she raised her voice to advocate for equal treatment of women athletes and access to facilities at Fresno State, a Division I school with a sprawling central California campus.
The jury award, which took into account Vivas' back wages, future lost pay and emotional distress, is likely the largest ever granted to a coach suing for retaliation under Title IX, a landmark federal law requiring gender equity in scholastic athletics, said the coach's lawyer, Dan Siegel.
"Fresno State wants to be a big-time athletic power, but it has to start acting like one. That means treating men and women the same," Siegel said. "This is a complete vindication of her and who Lindy is as a person, as a coach, and what she had to live with as a result of their actions."
The university, of course, released a statement whining about pretrial publicity influencing the jury. Umm? Dude. You're FRESNO STATE. Get a few male football fans on that jury, you shouldn't have had to worry, but you STILL LOST. Get over yourselves. The athletic office has screwed women's sports programs six ways from Sunday. It's time you were held accountable for it.
Read the whole thing here, or the local article here.
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"The athletic office has screwed women's sports programs six ways from Sunday. It's time you were held accountable for it."
How does making the taxpayers (i.e., you) shell out for a jury award hold anyone responsible? That's the problem in suing a public school.
Posted by: Dave J at July 14, 2007 09:04 AM (PEbS4)
Step right up, folks! It's a contest, well, sorta....
It's time to make your "official" predictions for who lives and dies in Harry Potter 7. No major prizes, just brownie points and maybe gratutious linky love. Your prediction should have two parts: 1) Does Harry make it, or not? 2) Who else did she kill off?
Even if you've only seen the movies, I'm interested in other people's takes on it. Especially if you disagree radically, or if you agree, but for different reasons. Post your predictions in the comments. Contest ends July 20, 2007. Void where prohibited. Do not fold, spindle, or multilate.
I'll start: My own "official" prediction is Snape and Hagrid. Maybe Draco Malfoy. Snape is a good guy and proves it via his death. Similarly I suspect Malfoy bites it to prove his own "redemption". And poor Hagrid is the "Innocent" of the stereotypical hero myth, so I suspect he gets caught in the crossfire and his senseless death serves as a spur to Harry's ultimate action against He Who Shall Not Be Named. I think Harry lives too. He almost MUST. And if Harry lives, Ginny probably does too. Remember, Harry WILL end up with Ginny. Hermione is in love with Weasley. Speaking of, if she kills off either Ron or Hermione before they get a happily ever after I will hurl the book at whatever is close and cry for a while. Profanity will be uttered, too. Deep, dark profanity, of the sort that forms the proverbial cloud over Lake Michigan...
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I'm thinking Snape and Neville for sure will die. Snape either because he's proving he's good like you posit or because he's unable to do so. I lean slightly on the Snape is bad side of things though - Dumbledore wasn't completely unfoolable. I kind of wonder if she's going to kill off Ginny though - it adds to the tragic hero bit for Harry (everyone who loves him dies - reference his parents, Dumbledore, and now Ginny) plus it has potential to cause a rift between him and Ron, which she seems to delight in doing.
I don't think she'll kill of Harry simply because she's a business woman and knows that doing that really kills off the franchise, no matter how many spinoffs might come from side characters, without Harry she loses a lot of her audience.
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I can buy the Snape dying. I believe that Rowling has tried to make this character as misunderstood and at times, ambivalent as possible to later "reveal" that he was working on the good side afterall. Maybe that's wishful thinking. Along with wishful thinking, I hope Draco has some sort of redemption. Rowling again has set that up by showing him as fearful and hesistant during the sixth book. I hope that leads to him to the good side. But I don't want him to die. But that could be poetic at the end if he dies in an attempt to save Harry. I think a Weasley *MUST* die. I don't hate saying that too much either. I don't want it to be one of the twins but I would not be surprised if it were Ginny or Ron. Better Ron than Ginny, I say. And the foreshadowing of Ron sacrificing for the good of the mission has already occurred as witnessed in the chamber of secrets.
As for Harry dying? No way. Not in a million years. If she kills off Harry, she'll alienate her younger fans who won't understand his death and that could be tragic for the entire "Harry Potter" enterprise (ie. the theme parks, merchandising, movies, tv specials, possible sequals)...As Beth said, it'd be a bad business decision. Although the Christ allegory that some claim that the Harry Potter series references would be better served if he *did* die (...and maybe somehow was revived/resurrected?) -- but Rowling can still keep that allegory strong by making it clear that Harry Potter is WILLING to die, willing to lay down his life for the greater good.
And yes, I'm done. I'm way too involved in this series, as you can tell.
Posted by: wRitErsbLock at July 10, 2007 06:33 AM (+MvHD)
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I do not believe that Harry will die. He has scraped by too many times to build up to...his death? no way!
I think that Neville will die. I also suspect Luna could go and maybe even Ron. I expect that Scabbers/Pettigrew will die because of the debt he owes Harry that must be repaid. And, I suspect that Snape will also shuffle off, though I'm still on the fence as to whether he is good or evil, or perhaps just out for himself? I don't know. I can tell you that I am primed and pumped and farookin' ready to get my hands on the book!
Posted by: Phoenix at July 10, 2007 06:43 AM (4N2f4)
Posted by: Jenna at July 10, 2007 07:58 AM (fd/rX)
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I don't think that Percy will die, that's too easy. The readers have no real emotional attachment (other than thinking he's an absolute wanker --hehe-- gotta use the British terms). If he dies, I think another more likable Weasley will die too.
And yes, on the baddie side, Pettigrew will have to die, I think she's set us up for that. (And Voldemort as well)...
8
I've never read any of the books nor seen any of the movies, but the rest of my family are card-carrying Potter-heads. This is what I tell them:
The BIG SECRET in Book VII will be that Harry and Hermione are really brother and sister and that Valdamort is their father. He'll die only after turning good and reconsiling with Harry. In the meantime, a loveable army of House Elves will save Hogwarts from a surprise attack by the armies of darkness.
There are times when my family doesn't like me very much.
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I'm scared to guess...I know at least two characters will die, maybe more. I'd say Hagrid, Hermione, and maybe Draco.
No matter what, I'll be getting my book at midnight and reading it straight through.
Posted by: Mrs. Who at July 10, 2007 08:34 AM (9FXen)
I want this dude driving MY cab
Best Headline EVAR, too:
4 July 2007 HERO CABBIE: I KICKED BURNING TERRORIST SO HARD IN BALLS THAT I TORE A TENDON
Oh hells yes.
A HERO cabbie who took on the Glasgow Airport terror suspects told yesterday how he booted one of them in the privates.
Alex McIlveen, 45, kicked the man, whose body was in flames, so hard that he tore a tendon in his foot.
But he said last night: "He didn't even flinch. I couldn't believe he didn't go down.
"A doctor told me later I'd damaged a tendon in my foot."
If NHS wasn't free, I do believe that someone would be picking up this man's tab. I guess if the fucktard dies of his burns, he won't be able to use those 72 virgins....
