Alternate Forms of Energy Bumper Stickers
Ever seen that stupid "Coexist" bumper stickers with all the quasi-religious and philosophical symbols replacing the letters? How about this one instead?
Posted by: Amanda at November 29, 2007 12:55 PM (5PUVj)
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I'm going to try and hand draw these images, white on black like the original. Then maybe I'll put it up in my Cafepress store.
Posted by: Aaron at November 29, 2007 02:00 PM (x57wb)
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Cool. I haven't seen the original --- mercifully --- but I've seen my share of Save The Planet crap . . . SSDD.
Posted by: dogette at November 30, 2007 08:36 AM (q/UVc)
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I've never seen one of those coexist stickers...but then, I live down in the Redneck riviera and the only thing we worry about coexisting with are the gators and the skeeters!
Posted by: Mrs. Who at December 01, 2007 02:37 PM (6zbwL)
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I have a "coexist" neighbor down the street and it has diminished my faith in them because it's one of the most stupidly facile and retarded bumperstickers ever.
They ought to include a swastika next to the hammer-and-sickle -- because everyone knows those two "religions" co-existed so well, at least in 1939 for a while, when it was convenient... Stupid hippies.
Posted by: DirtCrashr at December 03, 2007 10:20 AM (VNM5w)
Bury my heart at Wounded Knee Disneyland
I don't really want to be cremated, but folks, if I was into it, I would SO love to have my ashes sprinkled at the Happiest Place on Earth. But I'd rather be on Thunder Mountain or in Sleeping Beauty's Castle than Pirates of the Caribbean!
Disneyland officials will likely never know whether the woman who sprinkled some sort of powder onto the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride was trying to send a loved one straight to Davy Jones' locker.
Disney officials shut the ride down for about 45 minutes Friday after they saw the woman sprinkle something into the ride's water. But they said they couldn't determine what it was because it dissolved so quickly.
Blogger and longtime Disneyland watcher Al Lutz said he received several tips indicating it was human ashes.
Disneyland Resorts spokesman Rob Doughty said he couldn't confirm that. He said the rider, who was not arrested, told park employees she had dumped baby powder over the side of a "Pirates" boat.
Lutz, who first reported the event Tuesday on his Web site miceage.com, said more and more people are leaving their loved ones' ashes behind at Disneyland.
"It used to happen every once in a while at the Haunted Mansion, but now it's happening more," he said.
Without written permission, it's a misdemeanor violation of the state Health and Safety Code to scatter human ashes on private property, but enforcement is difficult. Officials say the ashes pose no health threat.
"I can tell you that we do get people from time to time asking for permission to sprinkle ashes. Our policy is when we are asked for permission, we deny the request," Doughty said. "Beyond that, we don't know."
I can totally see why they would be concerned, in this day and age, when they see someone sprinkling powder into the ride, but on the other hand, I'd hate to see someone get arrested for carrying out a loved one' final wishes.
I'm #7 (on the third list!)
How about Professor Tenure-Caused-My-Divorce, or Professor My-Lobotomy-Improved-My-Personality, or my favorite, Professor Your-Life-Means-Less-Than-My-Experiments...
Stolen wholesale from Jon Cogburn (it was just TOO good to excerpt!):
Irritating Assistant Professors-
(from phred) Professor I'm-a-Fraud-and-Pray-To-Jesus-That-No-One-Will-Figure-It-Out,
(from phred) Professor I'm-Above-This-Place-And-Should-Be-At-Harvard,
Professor Rebel-Without-A-Clue,
(from Mark Silcox) Professor Only-Teaches-His-G**d***-Dissertation,
Professor Promising-Young-Man.
Irritating Full Professors-
(spelling courtesy Mikhail Emilianov) Professor Couldabeena-contenda,
(from Knecht Ruprecht) Professor Exploits-Grad-Students-as-Cheap-Labor-in-his-Consulting-Business,
(from Mikhail Emilianov and rm) Professor I-Have-Five-Stories/Jokes-So-Get-Used-To-Hearing-Them-All-The-Time,
(from John Emerson) Professor I've-Got-A-Nobel -Prize-So-Go-F***-Yourself,-I-Can-Talk-About-Whatever
-I-Want,
Professor Midlife-Crises,
Professor Old-Yellow-Notes,
Professor Screws-Up-Even-Simple-Things-So-As-To-Get-Out-Of-Service-Work
Professor Slum-Lord,
(from soup biscuit) Professor Tells-You-Everyday-How-Far-He-Is-From-Retirement,
(from Knecht Rupert) Professor Twenty-Graduate-Students-Do-All-My-Research,
(from redfoxtailshrub) Professor Used-To-Be-Cool-But-Now-Viewed-With-Knowing-Bemused-Looks,
Professor Uses-Tenure-To-Pursue-Hobbies-Or-Job-On-The-Side-Full-Time,
(from Mark Silcox) Professor Wishes-He-Was-Rich.
Irritating Professors That Could be Assistant or Full-
(from rm) Professor Complains-About-Working-Conditions,
Professor Drunk-Pants,
(from John Emerson) Professor I-Could-and-Sometimes-Do-Recite-This-Lecture-in-my-Sleep,
(from soup biscuit) Professor Laughs-At-His-Own-Jokes,
(from rm) Professor My-Jokes-Aren't-Funny-But-They're-All-I-Have,
(from cryptic ned) Professor Only-Person-At-Tiny-College-To-Have-Ever-Published-A-Book-In-A-Printing-Of-More-Than-200,
(from The Llama Butchers) Professor Seriously-Tardy-With-Grading-Papers-Because-He's-Blogging-on-Useless-Crap-All-The-Time
Professor Stared-Into-The-Void-And-The-Void-Stared-Back!-(Though-In-Reality-Void-Finds-Whole-Business-Distasteful),
(from Sifu Tweety) Professor Your-Work-Will-Never-Be-As-Important-As-Mine,
Professor Watches-Sports,
(from Rachel) Professor Wears-Clothes-With-Many-Holes-As-Though-That-Credentials-his-World-of-Ideas-ness.
Professor Will-F***-Anything-Young-and-Naive-Enough-To-Admire-Him.
Add your own in the comments, especially you lurking academicians out there!
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Professor Everyone-is-out-to-get-me
Professor I'm-THIS-close-to-retirement-so-I'm-not-even-going-to-try-anymore
Professor Who-cares-what-the-subject-is, let's-discuss-my-politics
Professor I-want-all-the-students-to-like-me, so-I'm-going-to-give-easy-tests
Professor Goes-to-meetings-and-has-one-single-agenda-that-has-to-be-brought-up-at-every-meeting, no-matter-how-unrelated-to-the-topic-at-hand
Professor I-have-family-drama
Posted by: ricki at November 14, 2007 06:05 AM (O5SYw)
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I'm not faculty, I'm staff at a state university, but I guest lecture on "computer stuff" and I think I should qualify as "Professor I-Could-and-Sometimes-Do-Recite-This-Lecture-in-my-Sleep." Because I could, and sometimes do.
And my personal favorite is Professor I-Have-A-PhD-so-I-shouldn't-have-to-learn-anything-new-ever-again-What-do-you-mean,-you-don't-support-WordStar-4.0-and-Windows-3.1?
Posted by: Jenna at November 14, 2007 08:33 AM (fd/rX)
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Professor I'm-a-middle-aged-balding-male-and-I-wear-an-earring-to- seem-cool-but-mainly-I'm-a-liberal-asshole.
Posted by: dogette at November 14, 2007 04:20 PM (q/UVc)
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Professor I-can't-teach-but-I'm-cheap-labor-because-I'm-tri-lingual-and-already-employed-by-the-university-as-a-researcher
Professor smells-like-weed
Professor should-not-teach-in-a-classroom-with-windows-lest-he-sees-a-short-skirt
Professor better-hope-my-team-is-winning-when-I-grade-your-tests
Posted by: Archerychic at November 16, 2007 02:44 PM (QqM7O)
And Neither is Britney SpearsHeadline of the Day: "Spears' Lawyer To Judge: 'You're Not A Pop Star'"
Seems poor li'l Brit Brit just can't make it to the drug lab on time. You'd think that since she has cars and drivers a plenty this would actually be an EASIER task for her than it would be for the rest of us who need to drive ourselves or rely on a crappy car or **horrors** take the bus to get where we need to go.
Her justification? That she has a Number One album to promote (sorry Brit, but you're actually #2. Ever heard of the Eagles?) and she's too busy to make time for the drug lab in less than 6 hours. SIX.
The judge rebuffed this claim, saying, "I have to get here at 7:30 a.m. to read (court) papers," implying that getting out of bed to go to the lab is not an unreasonable demand from the court.
Britney's lawyer responded, "But you're not a pop star with a number one album."
No, idiot, he's a JUDGE. Well, technically a court commissioner, but still. He's the judge in charge of whether or not she ever gets to see her kids. I suppose that means your client should act accordingly, huh?
I never thought I'd ever say it, but I'm starting to hope those two little boys take after their Dad in the brains department.
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Oh, man. It is such a good thing I am not the court administrator for that court - they'd be prying my size 8 1/2 out of Brit-brit's ass.
I mean, seriously: this is what is wrong with so many celebrities today - they think "oh, poor me, I'm being ordered to get up before noon and have someone drive me to rehab" and they whine that to people who are actually working for a living - and who don't have a crowd of sycophants telling them how great they are.
I propose a new form of reality show: Trading Lives. For two weeks, celebrities will be dropped into a situation - without hired help, without yes-men - to do a job that normal people do every day. The hook is either the celeb is in heavy makeup and a false name, or everyone involved with the situation has been clued in NOT to treat them like the Very Special Person they believe themselves to be.
I'd LOVE to see Britney try to dish up food in a school cafeteria for a week. Or Lindsay Lohan clean up dog poo at the vet's. Or something.
Posted by: ricki at November 08, 2007 01:01 PM (O5SYw)
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I was never a big fan, but I've lost all respect for her. She should be doing everything in her power to keep those kids!
Ricki, that's a great idea!
Posted by: Amanda at November 08, 2007 01:08 PM (ay+rD)
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**pops another bag of popcorn, gets ready to watch the train wreck catch fire**
Posted by: wRitErsbLock at November 08, 2007 01:26 PM (+MvHD)
Posted by: Lukie at November 09, 2007 07:04 PM (WXIEq)
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She is such a sorry excuse for a mother! There are some people who scream 'Legalize mandatory sterilization for the stupid',,,she is one of them!
Posted by: Michele at November 10, 2007 06:37 AM (NDJaM)
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Words of advice to counsel: I may not have been a lawyer as long as you, so it's possible our experiences may differ on this point, but insulting the judge is generally not a wise legal tactic.
Posted by: Dave J at November 10, 2007 12:23 PM (pgMar)
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Dave J. is right. Britney's lawyer may even be more stupid than she is.
Posted by: Jim - PRS at November 10, 2007 02:30 PM (bMUXJ)
Remember, Cowboy Chachi loves you best. Even if you don't love him.
This is about the funniest thing ever on the intertubes. Originally sent to me via email, I had to go find the original blogger and give him some love.
"Last weekend I put an exhaust fan in the ceiling for my wife's grandfather. After a bunch of hours spent in The Hottest Attic In The Universe, he had a ceiling fan that ducted to the side of his house.
While my brother-in-law and I were fitting the fan in between the joists, we found something under the insulation. What we found was this:
A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It's not often blog fodder just falls in my lap, but holy hell this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking.
Drop by and read the rest. You'll find Cowboy Chachi (and his Cowgirl Joanie, I suppose) near the end, after a fairly exhaustive manual on How to Get Your Ass Kicked. You'll see.
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Hilarious.
Just so you know, we hated that shit in 1977, too.
Heh.
Posted by: Margi at November 06, 2007 12:04 AM (wSEpS)
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That is SO FUNNY! But, I'm thinking...do you think we'll look back 30 years from now at our current trends and laugh as we are at the '77 Sears catalog?
Posted by: Amanda at November 06, 2007 07:14 AM (ay+rD)
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That is SO funny! Those fricking orange jumpsuits are something nightmares are made of!
Posted by: pam at November 06, 2007 08:02 AM (l6NIn)
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Gosh I needed that. Great find girl - already forwrded it to a couple of friends!
Posted by: Greta at November 06, 2007 10:52 AM (Xl4tG)
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OMG that is funny shit. Glad you found it and posted it.
Posted by: dogette at November 06, 2007 04:15 PM (q/UVc)
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My gawd!! I had a severe flashback to those bad old days of leisure suits and big hair!!
Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!!!!!
Posted by: DCE at November 11, 2007 08:54 AM (iAtPj)
