So here's two ENTIRELY inappropriate but COMPLETELY HILARIOUS links for you to enjoy:

He-Man and the Song of the Super Pe-nis

and

Doggy style... sort of.

Both of these links are true stories and completely PG-13.

Posted by: caltechgirl at 08:52 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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or, Yet Another Reason I am going to hell....

The LOLCatz bible.  Yep.

Matthew 1:

1. Dis book of genie-ologee of Jesus Christ, son of Dave, son of Abe:

2. Abe maded Isaac, Isaac maded Jake, Jake maded Jude and hiz bros.

3. Jude maded Perry and Zeryy wit Tammmy. Perry maded Hez, and Zerry maded Ram.

4. Ram maded Amminy, Amminy maded Nathan and Nathan maded Salmon. Not the fish, lol.

5. Salmon maded Bo, Bo maded Obe wit Ruth, Obe maded Jesse

6. and Jesse maded King Dave teh king. King Dave teh king maded Solomon wit sum chick that used to made peoples wit Uriah. Lol, Uriah got pwned.

7. Solomon maded Rebby, Rebby maded Abi and Abi maded Asa.

8. Asa maded Jehoseh...sumtin, and he maded Jorry and Jorry maded Uzzy.

9. Uzzy maded Jotham, Jotham maded Ahaz and Ahaz maded Hezeky.

10. Hezeky maded anny, Manny maded Ammy and Ammy maded Josh.

11. Josh maded Jecony and hiz bros, was bout when they was carryeded to Babblylon.

12. And after they was in Babblylon Jecon maded Shealty, and Shealty maded Zerubbabbabbabbabba.

13. Zerubbabbabbabbabba maded Abey, Abey maded Eli and Eli maded Az.

14. Az maded Zaddy, Zaddy maded Achy and Achy maded diffrent Eli.

15. Diffrent Eli maded other diffrent Eli, other diffrent Eli maded Matty and Matty maded Jake.

16. And Jake maded Joe. Joe was teh mister of Mary, and she maded Jesus, who gets called Christ, liek all teh time. Srsly.

17. So all teh genenerayshuns from Abe to Dave am 14 genenerayshuns, frm Dave to gettin lockeded up in Babblylon am 14 genenerayshuns, and frm gettin lockeded up in Babblylon to teh Christ am 14 genenerayshuns. Srsly.

18. Now, teh burth of teh Christ was liek dis: After Marry and Joe were all "We's gonna get marrieded, kthnx", but before dey could had teh secks (Not 2 sai dey eva did had secks), Mary was all preggers from the Holey Ghosty.

19. Joe was all liek "Oh snap, dis embarrassin. I's gonna hide mah wife".

20. But when he was tihnkin, zomg, angel frm Invisible Man was in his dreems! Angel sayed "Hai, don't be fraided to has Mary for ur wife, cuz her baby be frm Holey Ghosty.

21. "And she gonna made a son, and you gonna call him Jesus, cuz he gonna save ppl and pwn dere sinz."

22. So all dis was all did so it'd be all liek Invisible Man sayed it was gonna be. His profet was all liek:

23. "Hay guise, look at dis, teh virgin iz all preggers, and dey gonna call him Immany", dat means "Invisible Man wit us"

24. Then Joe woked up, done wat teh angel frm Invisible Man tolded him to, and was all liek "U wit me now (Tho, Mary is teh Invisible Man's wife) lol" at Mary.

25. And dey ner had secks (So dat Mary could be called "Queen of Invisible Man's Kingdom") evn affer dey gets a son and calleded him Jesus.

NIV translation below the fold for comparison... more...

Posted by: caltechgirl at 11:30 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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So I was checking my email earlier, and then, as usual, I closed the laptop and set it on the floor to watch TV.  About an hour later, I picked it up, and it was REALLY hot.  Like it was trying to work and couldn't get the fan on.  So I picked it up and set it on the fan pad we have, and opened it up.  The screen was black and said "Can not find Operating System".

After two panicked seconds I restarted it, and everything seems to be working fine, except Firefox seems to have reloaded all of my extensions, as if I had just installed them for the first time, and I had to reset my profile and reload my rss feed list into Sage.  All my buttons and bookmarks were present, though.

Anybody got any clue?  Virus check didn't find anything new....  It seems to be cooling down, too.

It also has this trick of unfastening the battery because the fan pad pushes the lock bar over, but it hasn't done that in a while, so I think this is unrelated to that.....

Oh, and it's a Sony VAIO VGN-SZ330P running Windows XP.

Posted by: caltechgirl at 01:20 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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It's an open secret that Fred is probably going to announce his candidacy officially over Labor Day weekend.  Ahead of the announcement, the media blitz from the campaign has begun, including a great article in Thursday's WaPo by David Broder.

The approach Thompson says he's contemplating is one that will step on many sensitive political toes. When he says "we're getting a free ride" fighting a necessary war in Iraq with an undersized military establishment, "wearing out our people and equipment," it sounds like a criticism of the president and the Pentagon.

When he says he would have opposed adding the prescription drug benefit to Medicare, "a $17 trillion add-on to a program that's going bankrupt," he is fighting the bipartisan judgment of the last Congress.

When he says the FBI is perhaps incapable of morphing itself into the smart domestic security agency the country needs, he is attacking another sacred cow.

[...]

"Nobody in Congress or on either side in the presidential race wants to deal with it," Thompson said. "So we just rock along and try to maintain the status quo. Republicans say keep the tax cuts; Democrats say keep the entitlements. And we become a less unified country in the process, with a tax code that has become an unholy mess, and all we do is tinker around the edges."

Thompson readily concedes that he does not know "where all those chips are going to fall" when he starts challenging members of various interest groups to look beyond their individual agendas and weigh the sacrifices that could ensure a better future for their children.

But these issues -- national security and the fiscal crisis of an aging society with runaway heath-care costs -- "are worth a portion of a man's life. If I can't get elected talking that way, I probably don't deserve to be elected."

Posted by: caltechgirl at 12:43 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I guess ricki and I are mortal enemies... except I know better.

You Are a Club Sandwich

You are have a big personality. It's hard for anyone to ignore you! You dream big. You think big. And you eat big. Some people consider you high maintenance, but you just know what you want... and when you want it. Your best friend: The Tuna Fish Sandwich Your mortal enemy: The Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

Posted by: caltechgirl at 10:17 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Here we go again. You know what to do.

1. Voyage ::
2. Patricia ::
3. Transformation ::
4. Vocabulary ::
5. San Francisco ::
6. Edward ::
7. Sawyer ::
8. Literary ::
9. Tiger ::
10. Seal ::
more...

Posted by: caltechgirl at 10:11 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Too much crappy stuff going on around me.  It rubs off.

UPDATE: Work is working itself out without me needing to do anything else at the moment.  Feeling much smiley-er.

Thanks for the well-wishes, they were much appreciated!

Now, off to buy a screen door!

Posted by: caltechgirl at 10:31 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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SciFi is showing a FIREFLY MARATHON!!!! until 3pm!

Yes, I own it.  But STILL.

And Flash Gordon starts tonight.

Posted by: caltechgirl at 10:35 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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The universe is conspiring against me.



It's the small pathetic things that rankle so much.  Like your husband
being called into jury duty on FRIDAY after being told to go about his
business all week and basically being told that he will be sitting on
his ass from 7:30 am until 4pm, thank you very much, on THE day you
made plans to go out of town early, and for which you took the day off
of work.... and since you are sitting at home, the cable decides to go
out,and of course the internet with it.  And when the son-of-a-bitch
finally comes back up, the fucking router refuses to do its job, so I'm
now within 6 inches of no internet and the TV is fuzzy on and off.



Not to mention that he got lost driving into downtown, ended
up in East LA and I had to talk him in to where he was going after
figuring out where he was.  FROM 10 MILES AWAY.



Big things I can handle.  I can deal.  I have a gameplan.  This piddly little shit?  I could murder someone today.

*FFO = Friday Fuck Off.  Here.

Posted by: caltechgirl at 10:02 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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The Grand Poobah of Harry Potter Goodness, aka SarahK (finish the darned review already!) has a quick and dirty quiz to help you choose a house at Hogwarts without benefit of the Sorting Hat.

My answers in the extended. more...

Posted by: caltechgirl at 11:56 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 I was sorted into Ravenclaw AGES ago on the "official HP website. I'm okay with that... ;-) 'Course you know I am going to go take the quiz. Ha!

Posted by: Richmond at August 09, 2007 06:05 PM (XkZ30)

2 I scored as Griffindor - imagine!

Posted by: Richmond at August 09, 2007 06:11 PM (XkZ30)

3 I also have a house to finish, so I am not allowed to do much per day. I have a boss.

Posted by: sarahk at August 09, 2007 07:09 PM (QLpkT)

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It's official.  The Democrats have decided that Fred Thompson will be the Republican candidate in 2008.  How do I know this, you ask?  Well, lets see:

1.  First they gossiped that Mrs. Thompson was nothing more than a trophy wife, and tried to insinuate that she was the reason his first marriage broke up... except that she's brilliant and professional and Fred didn't meet her until more than a decade after his divorce, and after several serious relationships after the marriage.  (many links here for more info)

2. They tried to paint Fred as a flip-flopper on abortion.  Nice trick there, but it didn't work that well, did it?

3.  Now they're trying to link him to the KKK?  Hey Henry Reynolds, I know you live here in LA la land, but there IS a difference between reality and TV.

So I ask the Democrats: You've got like 9 people running on your side of the aisle.  Are you trying to say that NONE of them measures up to Fred where it counts? (that would be on the record, dirtbags)  Or just that your scared spitless because you didn't see him coming?

Funny how Fred didn't matter to you until he showed you he was a master of YOUR milieu as well as his own.

Posted by: caltechgirl at 11:28 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I think we'll be getting one of these for the Princess!

h/t Ken S

Posted by: caltechgirl at 09:58 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Here we go again.... My answers in the extended. Play along in the comments!

1. Voices ::
2. Have to ::
3. Machine ::
4. Seventh grade ::
5. Beach ::
6. Roommate ::
7. Cyclone ::
8. Theater ::
9. Pregnant ::
10. Phoebe ::
more...

Posted by: caltechgirl at 01:48 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 1. Voices :: carry 2. Have to :: pee 3. Machine :: grade 4. Seventh grade :: math 5. Beach :: ball 6. Roommate :: best friend 7. Cyclone :: tornado 8. Theater :: ticket 9. Pregnant :: helen 10. Phoebe :: chandler, ross, monica.... etc...

Posted by: pam at August 08, 2007 03:26 PM (l6NIn)

2 1. Voices :: in my head 2. Have to :: want to 3. Machine :: bolt 4. Seventh grade :: sucks 5. Beach :: head 6. Roommate :: beautiful 7. Cyclone :: tornado 8. Theater :: actor 9. Pregnant :: baby 10. Phoebe :: Smelly Cat

Posted by: GMT at August 08, 2007 03:31 PM (qPLLC)

3 1. Voices :: In my head 2. Have to :: go now 3. Machine :: Logic 4. Seventh grade :: Math 5. Beach :: Boys 6. Roommate :: Utilities 7. Cyclone :: Ranger 8. Theater :: Goer 9. Pregnant :: Pause 10. Phoebe :: Cates

Posted by: Jay at August 08, 2007 06:08 PM (Z7+lJ)

4 1. Voices :: in the dark get shot at 2. Have to ::buy some more ammo because of the voices in the dark 3. Machine ::grade shotgun 4. Seventh grade ::got laid 5. Beach ::got laid 6. Roommate ::got laid a lot 7. Cyclone : hilippine Islands 8. Theater ::drive in got laid 9. Pregnant ::blame the gardener I shoot blanks 10. Phoebe ::was that her name?

Posted by: GUYK at August 09, 2007 05:29 AM (uyoGg)

5 1. Voices :: raised 2. Have to :: pee 3. Machine :: gun 4. Seventh grade :: sucks 5. Beach :: ball 6. Roommate :: hell 7. Cyclone :: hurricane 8. Theater :: of the arts 9. Pregnant :: dismay 10. Phoebe :: cates

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at August 09, 2007 07:09 AM (+MvHD)

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Ok, it's over. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.... at least we will after we rehash #756 over and over and over and over again.  Maybe tomorrow sometime......

Oh, and Barry, keep it in mind, cheaters never prosper. You may not have been convicted in a court of law, but NO ONE's head grows THREE sizes over the course of your major league career. Your skull bones fuse sometime in childhood.

Proud to be a member of the Dodger Stadium "Barr-roids" Crew

Posted by: caltechgirl at 09:36 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Oh yeah!

On the Common Sense Quiz:

Am-I-Dumb.com - Are you dumb?

On the Sports Quiz:

Am-I-Dumb.com - Are you dumb?

h/t Chickie..... who is smarter than 92.8% of you.

Posted by: caltechgirl at 06:26 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Or, I have a lot to say and not much time....

-- So we did a LOT of home improvement type stuff this weekend. Here's a partial list: New bathroom sink, new bathroom light fixture, new TP holder attached to sink cabinet, old TP holder and towel bar removed, wall heater removed, installed two new light fixtures, repaired the old ceiling fan in our den (it still squeaks, but we're no longer afraid it will detach itself from the ceiling and careen around the room) replaced the dimmer switch in dining room, and prepped our ceiling for the ceiling fan we bought. Today, hubby did the exterior paint touch up work left from the termite repair work and cleaned out and re-seated the rain gutters. Next up: shelves in the linen closet, two ceiling fans, a chandelier in the dining room, and paint touch-ups. I'll get some pictures up soon. Now that 90% of the crap is put away, it's easier to do these silly little things that take so long and make you so frustrated....

-- Thursday night we went to the Dodgers/Giants game. The Dodgers' staff are super nice and helpful when you have obnoxious idiots in your section. Everyone in our section thinks they asked us to leave for asking them to remove people, but guess what? This "fat fucking bitch" (yes, that's what she called me) got better seats in another section for the rest of the game thanks to you being an asshole. Oh, and Barry still sucks.

--We're WAAAAY behind on TV. I've got about 12 hours of catch up from this week's TV (we just got through The Closer from Monday, and we watch that religiously! Usually we see it on Monday or Tuesday at the latest)... Mom and Dad were here Wednesday to Sunday (we took them to the game, and Dad helped with the various bathroom projects), and that also cut into TV time.

--We've been having a visitor of another sort as well. Guest blogger/ frequent commenter/ buddy ZTZCheese and her hubby are on vacation, and their bearded dragon has been living on our patio, eating his worms and soaking up the sunshine. Pictures soon if I get the ok from his humans.

-- I missed a bunch of people's birthdays this last week. Sorry guys. I was a little out of it. Much love to all of you. You know who you are.

Posted by: caltechgirl at 05:00 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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1 goodness. good for you being so productive. as for that pathetic excuse for a human at the game: she'll get hers. I would have been ejected for punching her.

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at August 06, 2007 06:16 PM (0Pi1o)

2 What is it with people doing such crap jobs putting in ceiling fans? Our last house had several that were like yours (ready to take a spin around the room). My husband had to take half the ceiling down in one room to get the new one in correctly! Anyhow, isn't it wonderful to get stuff done. Now you don't have to worry about it. *grin*

Posted by: Teresa at August 06, 2007 06:30 PM (gsbs5)

3 Oh, and Barry still sucks *sigh* I love you.

Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at August 06, 2007 06:38 PM (Yh9SA)

4 Totally funny, largely-unrelated note: Several years ago, my daughter came up with the epithet "Big Butt" for the One Who Shall Not Be Named Despite His Preparation to Break the Great Hank Aaron's Record. In the recent series between the sainted Dodgers and the Foul Satan-worshipping HellSpawn, some kind of reference was made to the (no doubt steroid-enhanced) tookus of said "Big Butt". The wife and I got a big kick out of that. Oh, and we also got a kick out of how the F S-W HS announcers (who actually happen to be pretty good) mentioned that the Dodger's left field bleachers section does the best rendition of the "Barry Sucks" song.

Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at August 06, 2007 06:50 PM (Yh9SA)

5 Hmm. One last comment before I move on and let you get back to the home repair stuff. The same daughter who came up with that thoroughly appropriate epithet for that Foul Beast, also wrote a baseball song some years ago. I can't remember all the lyrics exactly, but here's a partial to the best of my recollection: Giants suck They suck suck suck They suck and they suck and they really suck They suck all day and they suck all night That's all I remember at the moment. This is the same daughter (and I SWEAR this is a true story) delighted her grandma as follows: When she was about a year and a half old, my mom came to visit and we went to a Dodger game at Candlestink park (this was in 1986). Got some cool pics and the Dodgers won. Anyway, after the game we got home and my mom decided to teach DNO some cool phrases. She said "Can you say 'Go Dodgers'?" DNO said "Go Dodgers!" The my mom, planning to teach her some less-than-civil phrases, said, "Can you say 'Giants'?", and DNT let out with a really GREAT raspberry. "Pthththththth!" Man I wish I'd had a tape recorder.

Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at August 06, 2007 07:05 PM (Yh9SA)

6 Oh, one more: someday I'll tell you the story of putting up a ceiling fan in our house in Santa Cruz. It's a wonder I'm still alive.

Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at August 06, 2007 07:07 PM (Yh9SA)

7 When you said a LOT of home improvement, you meant a LOT! Makes me wish I weren't so lazy... ROFL!

Posted by: pam at August 07, 2007 04:53 AM (l6NIn)

8 I think after all your hard work, you deserve a vacation. Maybe somewhere South-East. I know, you can come to South Florida!! You can stay at our house. That reminds me, I have a few home improvement things that need to get done. I'm looking for volunteers. ;-) Love ya!

Posted by: Amanda at August 07, 2007 06:03 AM (ay+rD)

9 Fine by me. He's a handsome lizard Try to get his sexy side!

Posted by: ZTZCheese at August 07, 2007 01:10 PM (Rpjgo)

10 Me? I'm sick as a dog. But damn, you DO kick some ass, girliefriend. Yay! on you for the home improvement-y stuff and yay! on Dodger staff for removing you from that horrible woman. And I don't watch sports but that man has an unusually large - everything - but his head worries me. That ain't natural. I'll try to be patient about the pictures. Heh.

Posted by: Margi at August 07, 2007 11:25 PM (DwLKz)

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I spent the weekend on home improvement. Pictures soon.

Posted by: caltechgirl at 09:08 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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1 Awesome! Cannot wait!

Posted by: Richmond at August 06, 2007 04:01 PM (gZB7C)

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