April 19, 2007

A lack of posting on my part....

Sorry folks, real life intervenes.  More this weekend, I hope.

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April 17, 2007

Your Taxes Explained!

Courtesy of Denny:

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all
ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it
would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.

The fifth would pay $1.

The sixth would pay $3.

The seventh would pay $7.

The eighth would pay $12.

The ninth would pay $18.

The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do.

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with
the arrangement, until on day, the owner threw them a curve. "Since you
are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of
your daily beer by $20."Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so
the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free.
But what about the other six men --- the paying customers? How could
they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair
share?' They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they
subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the
sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.So, the bar
owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by
roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each
should pay. And so:

The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).

The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).

The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).

The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).

The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).

The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four
continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men
began to compare their savings. "I only got a dollar out of the
$20,"declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man," but he got
$10!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too.

It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!"

"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night
the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had
beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they
discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between
all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how
our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most
benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being
wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might
start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.


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April 15, 2007

Exactly how I feel today!


You Are the Middle Finger

A bit fragile and dependent on your friends, you're not nearly as hostile as you seem.

You are balanced, easy to get along with, and quite serious.

However, you can get angry and fed up with those around you. And you aren't afraid to show it!

You get along well with: The Index Finger

Stay away from: The Pinky


ok, I admit, I cheated a bit to get this one. But it suits my mood better than the actual answer:


You Are the Index Finger



You are ambitious, driven, and capable.
You aren't afraid to take responsibility for your actions - or place the blame on whoever deserves it.

You are honest, free thinking, and objective. You see things in your own way - and you aren't afraid to let everyone know about it.

You get along well with: The Thumb

Stay away from: The Ring Finger

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April 14, 2007

Saturday F**k Off

The answer was no.

Their counteroffer was $10,000 over asking plus lots of cash up front, in other words, F**K OFF, we don't want to sell to you.  Or anyone else, evidently.

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April 13, 2007

Would that more journalists saw things this way

ESPN.com's Jemele Hill apologizes to the Duke Lacrosse players wrongfully accused of rape (it's a long passage, but well worth the time and bandwidth):

My being a black woman, my knowing too many athletes who treat women like items to be purchased in a vending machine, and my witnessing enough athlete rape trials where accusers are overwhelmed by their fame and fortune -- it all tainted my perception and made me doubt your innocence.

I feel stupid now.

I could blame Durham County district attorney Mike Nifong, but that would be too easy. Oh, he's a lout, no doubt. He played upon the emotions of a community and its long-held hostilities, and put his reelection bid above morality and common sense. He played all of us and should be punished with nothing less than disbarment.

I could blame Jesse Jackson, who I have hoped for years would disappear to a faraway land where CNN wouldn't follow. As usual, Jesse showed up and showed out. He incited the masses and then left everyone else to sort out the wreckage. And if Jesse wants to gain an ounce of the credibility he no longer has, he would find the nearest camera -- and we know he's good at that -- and express sorrow with all the sincerity he can muster. But the day Jesse apologizes for causing a scene is the day Rosie O'Donnell wears a muzzle.

But if there is anything to be learned from Don Imus' fall, it's that real apologies are never accompanied by rationalizations.

So to Reade Seligmann, Collin Finnerty and David Evans, the three Duke lacrosse players whose lives were mangled by an unsupported rape accusation, I say two of the hardest words in the English language:

I'm sorry.

It's not enough, and I won't pretend that it is. For the last year, your lives and those of your families have been more difficult than any of us can possibly imagine. I'll never know what it was like walking around normal society labeled a rapist. I'll never know what it's like to lose everything -- your school, your program and your life -- because of one unproven accusation.

You deserve all of that back and then some, but unfortunately, you won't get it. You have every right to not trust anyone and think less of people. Duke University abandoned you. An overzealous prosecutor tormented you. A community, a nation, didn't believe you. Journalists everywhere, sensing ratings and salivating over the salaciousness of black strippers and white athletes, chose to keep you under attack.

Not that this is a contest to see who was wronged the most, but the Rutgers women's basketball team at least received justice, because Imus was suspended and dropped by MSNBC, which simulcasts his morning show. Plenty of people are outraged on their behalf.

But who is outraged on your behalf? What justice will you receive? Will the same networks that willingly aided in destroying your reputations now give you airtime to vent your frustrations? Will Jesse Jackson now offer the three of you a free scholarship like he did the "victim," since he helped assist in your battered reputation?

Maybe the only modicum of fairness you have received is that the News & Observer in Raleigh decided to print the name of your accuser. I don't normally advocate that the names of alleged victims be printed, but it feels right in this instance.

I know I'd certainly like to ask your accuser a few questions, even though she stood by her story as North Carolina's attorney general vehemently proclaimed your innocence. Does she understand she has tanked not only her credibility, but that of other women, too? Does she understand the next time a woman comes forward with an allegation this serious, all of our minds will scroll back to this case, and we will be less inclined to believe her? Does she know women with legitimate sexual-assault complaints will look at this furor and decide silence is best?

I can't deny that your race, gender and class have everything to do with how you were treated then and how you are treated now. Some people believe white men are exempt from sympathy and incapable of being maligned, so they will not swallow their pride and offer you the decency you should have received in the first place. Yes, you made an unwise decision to entertain strippers at a residence, but that just makes you guilty of being like 90 percent of college males.

Read the rest here.

Bravo to Ms. Hill, who put politics and BS aside in the face of what is right, and my best wishes to these three young men, who have learned a very painful lesson about race, class, and sex in this country.  I hope that they are able to pick up where they left off, and come to a place where people don't know their names except based on their accomplishments and kindnesses.

h/t Goldstein

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April 12, 2007

For those of you in the know...

They say no news is good news, right?  I'll let you know when I know more.

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Happy Freakin' Birthday, Sneaky

Yesterday was the V-Man's big 5-0.

All the best, you skinny bastid.

What Ellison said.

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April 11, 2007

A Literary Loss

Kurt Vonnegut died today at the age of 84.  You might be surprised to find me a Vonnegut fan, given his politics, but he had a GENIUS way with words.

Breakfast of Champions was the first Vonnegut I read.  In high school.  In between giggling at his picture of an a$$hole....

I discovered the first REALLY SMART book I ever read.  Admittedly it took me a couple of trips through before I really got it.

And I was hooked.  Over the years, I've put a lot of Vonnegut between my ears, including many of the lesser known books, especially Hocus Pocus, which gave me one of my favorite phrases ever, "When the Excrement Hit the Air Conditioning".... And yes, he capitalized it just like that.

His sense of the euphemism was unmatched, and he used them like metaphors.  In a world of fumbling double entendre and pathetic punnery, his phrases stand out for their lack of self-importance.

My favorite of his works, though, was his last novel, Timequake, a book I love so dearly that I have thumb tabbed a number of quotes.
I have two favorite passages, a short one I will share with you here, and a longer bit below the jump (profanity below the jump, BTW).

Vonnegut's advice to the physicist Leo Seren, who apologized for participating in the atomic bomb production:

"Somebody should have told him that being a physicist on a planet where the smartest animals hate being alive so much means never having to say you're sorry."
h/t Jack of Random Fate
more...

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Poor Bunny




It's hard enough to find a bunny sized chair, dammit.

And for the record, PETA can still kiss my ample ass.

h/t Cowboy Blob

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April 10, 2007

So Honored!

Marie has chosen me as one of her favorite "Thinking Bloggers".

Wow, I'm honored!

More details later, including MY choices for the best "Thinking Bloggers"!

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April 08, 2007

Science and Belief, Not Incompatible

As you all know, I am a scientist. Most of my friends are scientists, my colleagues are scientists, and I have had the privilege of meeting many of the world's deepest and most renowned scientific thinkers.

And again and again, I am struck by the depth of faith to be found in the scientific community. While laypeople bitch and moan over Evolution, Creation, and Intelligent Design, many scientists simply don't see the incongruity.

The more you know about the amazing intricacies of the world around us, the easier it is to believe in an omniscient supreme being as designer and creator. It's all just so smart you know?

Anyway, the point of this post is to share with you a bit of this piece from CNN, where Dr. Francis Collins, Director of the Human Genome Project at NIH, discusses his faith and how one can be a scientist AND a believer.

So, some have asked, doesn't your brain explode? Can you both pursue an understanding of how life works using the tools of genetics and molecular biology, and worship a creator God? Aren't evolution and faith in God incompatible? Can a scientist believe in miracles like the resurrection?

Actually, I find no conflict here, and neither apparently do the 40 percent of working scientists who claim to be believers. Yes, evolution by descent from a common ancestor is clearly true. If there was any lingering doubt about the evidence from the fossil record, the study of DNA provides the strongest possible proof of our relatedness to all other living things.

But why couldn't this be God's plan for creation? True, this is incompatible with an ultra-literal interpretation of Genesis, but long before Darwin, there were many thoughtful interpreters like St. Augustine, who found it impossible to be exactly sure what the meaning of that amazing creation story was supposed to be. So attaching oneself to such literal interpretations in the face of compelling scientific evidence pointing to the ancient age of Earth and the relatedness of living things by evolution seems neither wise nor necessary for the believer.

I have found there is a wonderful harmony in the complementary truths of science and faith. The God of the Bible is also the God of the genome. God can be found in the cathedral or in the laboratory. By investigating God's majestic and awesome creation, science can actually be a means of worship.

That's absolutely how I feel, and I know many others who feel the same way. Science and Faith go hand in hand. Science is the discovery of the majesty of our world, and revealing the wonder of the universe gives glory to its author.

Have a Blessed Easter, Passover, or whatever you choose to celebrate this weekend!

h/t John at Wait 'til Next Year

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April 06, 2007

It's Tartan Day 2007!

It's Tartan Day once again, a day to celebrate all things Scottish.

Remember, if it's not Scottish, it's crap!

For more on Tartan Day, see Ith's post, or check out the Tartan blogroll (near the bottom of the left sidebar on this page)

Last year's post recognizing my own Scots ancestry is here.

One of my favorite Scottish things is the music. There are TON of great bands from Scotland, both in traditional and popular music. Check out this list of Scotland's favorites. You might even know some of them.

Here are some Scottish bands that are DEFINITELY NOT crap:
(LOTS of YouTube vids below the Jump!) more...

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April 05, 2007

This gives a WHOLE NEW MEANING to the "troll under the bridge"

Let's put it this way, if I was the mama Billy Goat Gruff, I wouldn't go near this bridge myself, let alone the little BGG....

Paroled sex offenders living under Miami highway bridge
 
MIAMI -- Several paroled sex offenders are living under a noisy highway bridge and fending off rats each night, because they cannot find housing in compliance with strict county ordinances for violators, state officials and one of the men said Thursday.

At least three men are making their home under the Julia Tuttle Causeway, which connects Miami with neighboring Miami Beach, said Gretl Plessinger, a spokeswoman for the Florida Corrections Department. One of the men under the bridge said he was among five.

The state decided they could live under the bridge because the men were unable to find housing they could afford and that did not violate Miami-Dade county rules, which say sex offenders must live at least 2,500 feet from places children gather.

They must stay there between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. because a parole officer checks on them nearly every night, Plessinger said.

"This is not an ideal situation for anybody, but at this point we don't have any other options," Plessinger said. "We're still looking, the offenders are still actively searching for residences."

[...]

"This is an injustice," said the man who wouldn't give his name. "I completed my sentence."

The man refused to discuss the crime that landed him under the bridge, but state records show a host of offenses for the men who live there: sexual battery, molestation, abuse, grand theft. Many of the crimes are against children.

"Public safety is our main focus and we feel like public safety is being achieved in these individuals," Plessinger said. "But this is a problem that is going to have to be addressed. If we drive these offenders so far underground or we can't supervise them because they become so transient it's not making us safer."

Most homeless shelters won't take the men, Plessinger said, because they're sex offenders. One that would is within the prohibited range of a school or daycare center. She said one of the men, for example, found dozens of residences he was happy to live in, but parole officers vetoed all of them because they violated county rules.

Plessinger said she believed the state first authorized sex offenders to live under a bridge last June. Before the causeway, some of the men lived under a bridge in downtown Miami. They were forced to leave, Plessinger said, when it was determined they were within range of a daycare center.

The man under the causeway on Thursday said he had been there for about six weeks. He said he fears for his life.

Here's the creepy part:

Ironically, putting the men here hasn't kept them out of reach of children. On Thursday afternoon, down the concrete slope from the men's makeshift home, a family with young children played in the bay next to their boat, oblivious to the sex offenders who call a place under a bridge their home. (emphasis mine, --Ed.)
Personally,I could give a crap that they can't find a place to live.  Shoulda thought of that BEFORE you raped or molested, asshole.  Living with rats is HIGHLY appropriate for this kind of vermin.

At least the state isn't putting them up at taxpayers' expense.  Out of prison, off the taxpayers' dole and still living in shit.  Nice Job.

h/t LindaSoG

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More to Say on Fat Chicks

I sent this in an email earlier, in response to some discussion about the fat rant I posted below.

It's below the jump because it's pretty long and profanity laced. more...

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April 04, 2007

For the trolls.....



STFU! LOL!
h/t Greta

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It's not often when you know the genesis of a story idea

...and you don't even know the reporter.

But this story, from Sunday's Raleigh News and Observer, well, it's not hard.

Hispanic DWIs rooted in immigrants' culture

When Eliseo Hernandez came to the United States 30 years ago, he thought he drove better after a few beers. Driving drunk had been normal back in Mexico, he said. But Hernandez, 54, learned of its perils firsthand. He quit the practice after falling asleep at the wheel and hitting a tree 18 years ago.

Then, last year, a young Hispanic man who authorities say was drunk nearly killed Hernandez's only son, Diego, in a crash on a rural Johnston County road. Eliseo Hernandez's daughter, who was nine months pregnant, lost her unborn child in the accident.

Hernandez has spent the past year following Diego through four hospitals and 14 brain surgeries. Diego only recently began to smile again and might never walk.

Hernandez said he hopes his painful journey will teach his friends and family a lesson. Car accidents are the top killer of Hispanics in North Carolina, and the disproportionate number of alcohol-related arrests and wrecks are an embarrassment to a minority already beleaguered by hard feelings over illegal immigration.

"It makes the Mexicans look bad, very bad," Hernandez said. "The American people say 'Oh, it's just another Hispanic, the same as the others.' "

It was a commonly held assumption among the Orange County sheriff's deputies and other local cops that a hispanic man driving to the ABC (state-owned liquor store) was probably already drunk.  And that if you pulled over a hispanic man, chances are he would fail a roadside sobriety test.

DWIs are far higher among hispanics than any other culture in NC, and for a while this was seen as racial profiling by police and State Troopers.  In CA, many times the DWI hispanic driver is also an illegal alien. Interesting now to see this article owning that DWI/DUI is sometimes part of the culture.

The first step is admitting you have a problem.

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Freeform Fiction with Phoenix

Phoenix has a new fiction challenge up.  1,000 words inspired by 3 pictures.  Due Friday April 13.

I think I already have an opening sentence....

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Tuesday TiVo dilemma

The TiVo records 2 things at a time, and we can't watch another channel when it records 2.

Tuesday at 9, however, is a WEALTH of good TV.  What's a girl to do?

House
DWS elimination show
Deadliest Catch (it's back!  YAY!)
Dog the Bounty Hunter

Thank God the cable companies re-run their primetime shows 3 or 4 hours later. DC and Dog each record at 1am Wednesday, while DWS and House record LIVE...

So I'll be seeing both of them tonight.

I've mentioned before how much I LURVE Deadliest Catch.  Don't ask why.  I just like watching these guys go out and try to beat Mother Nature and make BANK in 2 weeks.  Good for them.

Spring is definitely the BEST TV time.  YAY!


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Now this is more like it

I would use some cliche title like "Fat and Happy" but that would insult ME, so I didn't.

This so perfectly expresses my attitude about my body. 

Fat happens.  Get over it.  Yes, I can diet and exercise. In fact, I do.  But my body happens to LIKE being this size, I guess.  So what?  Why should you care?  Projecting YOUR insecurities on me, huh?  I'm happy, my husband thinks I'm sexy, and the doctor says I'm 100% healthy except for a disease that has NOTHING to do with my weight.

So why should I waste my time being upset about it?  Seriously.

As my buddy Cartman once put it, "I'm not fat, I'm festively plump."
h/t RG

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April 03, 2007

Buh-Bye Blue Devils!

It appears the dookie spelling test got 50% easier.  But you still have to spell Krzyzewski, as it's coach Gail Goestenkors that's leaving town:

Goestenkors was widely considered the top candidate to replace Hall of Famer Jody Conradt at Texas after her sudden resignation last month.

The night Conradt retired, Texas officials made it clear they would be willing to pay for a top-notch coach. Conradt earned $550,000 a year. While Goestenkors' salary at Duke is not a public record, it was believed the private school would be unlikely to match a high offer from the Longhorns.

Goestenkors visited the Texas campus last week, when she met with women's athletic director Chris Plonsky and members of the school's search committee and toured the Longhorns' facilities.

Goestenkors coached the Blue Devils to four Final Fours and two appearances in the national championship game. Her last Duke team was one of her best. The Blue Devils ended the regular season ranked No. 1 and held the top overall seed in the NCAA tournament, but were upset in the regional semifinals by Rutgers. Duke ended the season 32-2.

dook's loss is clearly Texas' gain.  Good luck Coach G.

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