There is no 'N' in strumpet, you Diplodocus.

March 23, 2007

Brother, can you spare a moment?

The internets are a funny thing, they bring us so close to people and places we would never have otherwise known. That can be a wonderful thing. The real shit of it, though, is when the people you care for are so far away, there is little you can do except offer a virtual hug and some words of comfort. But what makes it better is the ability to reach out to others and let them help you give those hugs and words.

A couple of my friends are going through some really rough times right now, and I'd really love it if you could click through and offer whatever support you can.

My dear Vanessa is 8 weeks pregnant with twins after 5 cycles of IVF, and she's alone today and having signs of a possible miscarriage despite a very encouraging report and scan last week. Drop by and offer her some encouragement, love, and prayers if you are so inclined.

And our Dana, who you may remember from her former blogs The Origin of Soul and Frankensoul as well as her most recent incarnation, The Juggler's Mistress, is starting the process of an emotionally difficult and financially draining divorce. Her blogdaddy Jim has all the details. Please click over to Jim's place for more.

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March 20, 2007

She called me back...

We officially have a realtor.

Here we go, folks.

Anyone house buying advice you can share would be much appreciated.

Posted by: caltechgirl at 04:49 PM | Comments (16) | Add Comment
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1 Funny you should ask: http://sub2change.com/?p=36 I'll email you my phone number, too. You'll need someone on your side during this adventure.

Posted by: Aaron at March 20, 2007 05:21 PM (SbW5B)

2 First big one... no matter what the realtor says... NEVER look at a house out of your price range. Just don't do it. It will always look wonderful and you'll know you can't afford it. I don't care if you are best buddies, they will always try to show you something - at least one place - you can't afford. (I think it's tatooed in their genetic code... I've never figured out why they do this) Forget what people have in a place. The show House Hunters is interesting when you watch the morons who look at a room and say - "I hate the color" - GEEZE! Paint is your friend - rooms can always change colors - curtains can be changed. Now bad windows, or flooring, THAT is expensive to change. Wallpaper can be a real bitch, especially if you damage the walls taking it off. Look at the layout and compare it with how you live. Will the television being on in one room blare through the whole place? Is there at least one "away room" where you can do quiet things? Size doesn't matter as much as how the place feels. Room proportions, windows, kitchen set up, bathroom set up, laundry... You very likely won't get everything you want (if you do, let me know cause I haven't found a house like that yet!), but look for the one that comes as close as possible. Trust your nose! Walk into a place and sniff - you're trying to detect musty-moldy smells, bad animal smells that might not be easily defeated. The house of a smoker will likely need complete repainting and even possibly new carpets or the smell will drive a non-smoker insane. (if you get a basement - it's especially important to note the smell down there - it WILL waft upstairs) Look at the ceilings and down into the corners. You shouldn't see any cracking or peeling paint or discolored areas that look like they've been wet. If you have a basement with a sewer pipe running outside... does it show any signs of leakage? Look in the attics for signs of a leaking roof - not to mention - bats or other small animals. Look at the street - how noisy is it? Is it a "pass-through"? What do the cars look like? What do the yards look like? Is it near any large noise making area? School? Church? both bring people and lots of traffic at various times. Everyone has different things they don't mind living with that would make someone else crazy. Don't skip a good house inspection - it will help to save you from huge bills after the purchase. I think that's enough to start with. There's so much it's almost scary to think about buying. Let me know if you have any questions. *grin*

Posted by: Teresa at March 20, 2007 05:37 PM (gsbs5)

3 Seems that Teresa got it pin'd down. Particularly getting a house inspection. Well worth the money. Things I looked for in my home... outlets... where are they located? Vent over the oven, does it go outside or back int he kitchen)? fuse box location? vents for air conditioning (if there is a walk in closet, is a vent located there?)? I hated my last kitchen because the sink, oven, fridge did NOT work for me. Closets close to bathrooms... and the list could go on. Look at what you like now and what you would change. And absolutely do NOT look at houses outside of what YOU want to pay.

Posted by: vw bug at March 20, 2007 06:32 PM (PoOJ7)

4 Be prepared for unbelievable stress. No one warned me just how stressed out I'd be. Hubby and I rarely fight. We were at each other's throats during the buying process. And I cried from stress every damn night. Find time to de-stress together, and don't blame each other for the stress. Truly, I wish someone had told me how difficult buying a house would be on our marriage. Then again, maybe we had so much stress because we were also selling a house. And because my MIL was also in the equation. Good luck, sweetie.

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at March 20, 2007 06:33 PM (0Pi1o)

5 Plenty of vodka. Seriously. After I closed on Morrigan's house. We walked to the parking lot of the lawyer's office, and she handed me a bottle of Grey Goose and a 4 pack of sugar free Red Bull. My hands were shaking through the whole thing!

Posted by: Sissy at March 20, 2007 07:27 PM (y2kUf)

6 Agreed on the alcohol thing but don't drink on closing day. Just drink in the evenings. Don't let your conservative side be too much on the top. Yes, you are going to have to pay for ridiculous things and that will not change on your one small house sale. Yes, you'll have to pay for the privilege of conducting a sale, then you'll have to pay for a clerk to do his or her job related to the sale which you have already been paying for in taxes THEN you'll have to pay for insurance that covers the costs if that clerk (for whom you've already paid, twice now) does not do his/her job correctly. For closing day, you'll want to prelube. They won't expect you to have done it, and it will make the screwing over a lot easier to take. Flexibility exercises ahead of time are a good idea also, since you're going to be in a bent-over position for a while. However, one year later it will all be a distant memory.

Posted by: rsm at March 21, 2007 03:44 AM (asw+D)

7 The only thing I have to add (besides Congratulations!) is that it always helped me to have a list (written! not just in my head) of my "must haves" -- and then, no matter what (I'll repeat myself - no matter what!) don't compromise on those "must haves". Cause you'll sit there with that very expensive millstone around your neck and curse yourself for not having insisted on such-and-such that house #3 had and blah blah blah. On the flip side of that - try to keep your "must haves" list fairly short, cause chances are you're not going to find the *perfect* house.

Posted by: beth at March 21, 2007 06:17 AM (F6SSb)

8 How exciting! House hunting & buying is a very emotional and draining process. I agree with the idea of having a short list of "must haves." And if there's anything you truly do not want in a home, note that on your list of specs too. Then when you get all ga-ga over a place, refer back to your wishlist for a reality check. I wanted an older home with a fireplace on a tree-lined street with sidewalks. That's just what I have. The layout sucks, but I still love it. I'm just a romantic sucker though! Good luck and have fun! Oh, and don't go for the max that you'd pre-qualify for, mortgage-wise. Leave yourselves some elbow room.

Posted by: Marie at March 21, 2007 07:34 AM (ocfI9)

9 Oh, Yay!!! Good luck!! ; )

Posted by: Christina at March 21, 2007 07:45 AM (mqy6N)

10 Everyone pretty much said it all...but I do have one piece of advice. If you fall in love with a house, go for it! And it may or may not be the first house you see. When Eric and I were first house shopping when we got married, there was a place we completely fell in love with. It was the first one we saw, and every one told us "don't fall for the first one you see". Well, it turned out to be the "one", but by the time we made an offer (about two weeks later, after seeing a bunch of other places), it was under contract already. That didn't happen with this house however: once we knew, we didn't want to lose "our" house again and made an offer the next day! So just go with your gut, and if both you and DH love it, then go for it!

Posted by: Amanda at March 21, 2007 08:16 AM (rSpG8)

11 Most of it has been said, but when you think you've found "THE" house, get the best building inspector you can. The money you spend on him will be worth any potential problems he can find and you can avoid.

Posted by: Mrs. Who at March 21, 2007 10:09 AM (NfSVQ)

12 All the others have already said what I was going to. Just remember the difference between cosmetic and needing repairs.

Posted by: Contagion at March 21, 2007 05:03 PM (T4WRc)

13 Walk through the house in the morning, evening and day to see the exact lighting. If you can see it during a heavy rain, that is a bonus. If you all plan to have children, look at the school system. Actually, homes in good school districts sell easier than those not... so for resale, schools is a good thing to look at.

Posted by: Bou at March 21, 2007 07:14 PM (PQFHD)

14 Oh, and visit the neighborhood at different times of day. Walk around & talk to the people who live there. Good to get a feel for the 'hood.

Posted by: Marie at March 22, 2007 06:49 AM (ocfI9)

15 What area(s) are you looking at?

Posted by: Xrlq at March 25, 2007 08:34 PM (3usbu)

16 Oh lord... You can sit by me, CTG. I'll bring the wine. And enjoy the hunt, you guys are going to have a relly fun time! :-) The hunting part is the best part. :-)

Posted by: Richmond at March 26, 2007 11:51 AM (e8QFP)

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Because I'm bored with work and trying to be patient...

...waiting for the realtor to call me back....

Anyway, so I finally got the time to catch up on TV this weekend.

WTF with 24? I mean really. They bring back my FAVORITE Character of all time, and he's a f***ing wet nurse to a crazy person? I thought she was dealing better than THAT at the end of last season.

Yeah, I know that was last week. I'm just stuck there.

And did anyone else notice that Ricky Schroeder has that Luke Skywalker thing going on... he used to be cute but all of a sudden he looks WAY old? Hmmmm.

AND DWS (Dancing With the Stars) is back. Finally. I love that show. Yes, people are taking bets about Heather Mills' leg falling off on live TV. Sad. Really sad. As far as she's concerned, if she got all of Paul's $$, why the hell doesn't she have a better prosthetic? I mean you should see the cool robocop/ six million dollar man legs that some Iraq War amputees are getting. And the cheap ass VA pays for those.

In fact the TiVo is about to get quite busy. Deadliest Catch comes back in 10 days, and then LPBW starts the next week. And House returns next Tuesday courtesy of less AI.

So, what are you looking forward to watching this spring?

Posted by: caltechgirl at 02:05 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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March 12, 2007

Since all the cool kids are doing it....

Shamelessly copied from Rachel and Mandy.....

Create your own Friend Quiz here
Take the quiz here! I can't wait to see how well you do! I made some of the questions hard and some easy on purpose!

Posted by: caltechgirl at 11:37 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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March 09, 2007

What do these two articles have in common?

Democrats Cancel Fox News Debate

and

Plane crashes on Ind. street; 2 killed

Answer below the fold more...

Posted by: caltechgirl at 10:13 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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March 07, 2007

This one's for the teachers: a question

So I know that many of you loyal readers (commenters and lurkers, both) are teachers, at many levels from preschool all the way up to college/ adult education.

I've got a question for you:

How do you explain to your students that just because your program is small and all of the faculty are willing to bend over backwards to help them, DOES NOT mean that they can take advantage of that on a regular basis?

For example, how do I explain that even though I told them I would be more than happy to answer questions, I WILL NOT tell them whether a particular number is the right or wrong answer. ESPECIALLY when the question is part of the take-home portion of the exam.

How do I explain that if there were 700 students in the class (as would be expected at a school like UCLA), as the instructor, I wouldn't give them the time of day, let alone guarantee that I wouldn't laugh at them for begging to have the exam postponed and then ADMITTING they were working on the take home test together???

I guess what I'm asking is how do I explain to these children that even though there are only a few of them I am holding them to a high standard? And that it's for their own good? I mean, they are in this program because they want to go to MEDICAL SCHOOL. They won't get any breaks there. And they MUST be up to standards, or they'll fail miserably.

I will not set them up for failure. They can't see that what I am teaching them is the VERY BASE for the next 7-12 years of their education. And if they don't get this, the rest will be even worse. If I don't hold them to the same standard, they WILL fail.

So how do I do this without being the bad guy?

Posted by: caltechgirl at 02:03 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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1 You can't do it without being the bad guy - plain and simple. Sorry.

Posted by: Greta at March 07, 2007 02:15 PM (1aPAo)

2 my answer exactly, you have to be the bad guy

Posted by: Jane at March 07, 2007 02:16 PM (86QII)

3 Umm, fail them once or twice and see how they straighten up. I never had a teacher in High School or College that would even think of doing anything like that.

Posted by: Contagion at March 07, 2007 02:25 PM (L1GVu)

4 I know, it's just harder to be the bad guy when it's a few students. With 700 others I could just say "so what?" and point to the fact that no one else is bitching..... They already don't like me because I'm a hardass. At least in their minds.

Posted by: caltechgirl at March 07, 2007 02:39 PM (r0kgl)

5 Well, I was always the bad guy, so take it with a grain of salt if you really want to try to avoid it - but I'd explain it just the way you did here. These are college kids, they should (theoretically) be able to handle a rationally presented explanation. And even if they're not thrilled, knowing where you're coming from is never a bad idea. That said, if they're really just hoping for the easy way out, no amount of truth or explanation is going do anything other than paint you as a villian. Keep doing the right thing though - the world needs more teachers who are strong enough to hang tough.

Posted by: beth at March 07, 2007 03:54 PM (bOETT)

6 They deserve your honesty, really. The real world is harsh, as we all know. Many aren't prepared for that. I train in a corporation and it never fails to amaze me how many don't understand that they aren't "coddled" when it comes to work, that they need to pay attention, there will be an exam and if they don't pass, they won't have a job - plain, simple, consistent. I would disagree that you have to be the "bad guy" because I'm a firm believer that you can present it in a way that helps them understand your role is help them find the answers, not *give* them the answers. There will always be the few that won't understand - but chances are they won't quite make it through Medical School anyway.

Posted by: Merri at March 07, 2007 08:28 PM (fdAim)

7 Personally, I'd address the class as a whole and explain it exactly like you did to us. Tell them that you're willing to help them - to a certain extent - without giving them the answers... as long as they don't abuse your good nature or cheat. Also, explain that you are holding them to a high standard because if they don't understand the core - or "very base" - work now that THEY WILL FAIL LATER! I'd also tell them if they think you're giving them a hard time they can go over to UCLA and see exactly how much individual time the professors give each student. It might be an enlightening field trip for them. If that doesn't work give me a call, I'll run over their toes and smash their shins with my wheelchair. ;-) V5

Posted by: V5 at March 08, 2007 03:37 AM (bP+3v)

8 Why do you care if you're the bad guy? Do what you know you need to do. They'll get over it and be better off as a result.

Posted by: zonker at March 08, 2007 08:02 AM (PrUNH)

9 They all want to be doctors right? Well, propose this scenario to them. /begin preaching How would you feel if you went to a doctor for a life threatening condition and you found out that the only reason the doctor got through medical school was because his teachers and other students helped him with all the exams and answers to homework questions. That the guy never did any of the work himself... Would you trust this person to give you the very best care? Would you even trust this person to prescribe you aspirin... let alone some of the more involved drugs? Would you let this person operate on you? What happens when you get out of med school and have to start working on your own - no one to ask for the answers? Will you kill someone in the first few months because you prescribed a medication without taking the proper precautions... or without giving the proper doses? All because you didn't have a teacher or one of the other students to tell you - "that's wrong"? If they want to be good doctors, they need to start now - with the small stuff that doesn't matter. No one dies if they get the wrong answer on your test - but the practice of doing their own work, finding their own conclusions and working for the right answer will carry over to medical school and later to medical practice. /end preaching Maybe one or two will actually get it. The rest never will. And that's how you end up with such piss poor doctors in the world.

Posted by: Teresa at March 08, 2007 09:26 AM (gsbs5)

10 I've found that the phrase, "I'm sorry but I can't do that," followed by an honest explanation usually works for me: "I'm sorry, I can't do that, it wouldn't be fair to the other students." "I'm sorry, I can't tell you the answer until after I have graded the exams. I need to see how you go about the thought process to get to the answer." "No, I'm sorry, but when you get out into the working world, there won't be people providing you with help, so you need to learn to be resourceful now." The thing is: you're not REALLY being the bad guy. They will think you are. They will probably piss and moan and complain about it on evaluations. But in truth, you would be being the bad guy IF you caved to their requests and continued to enable them in being infantile. Because then they wouldn't be able to function in the working world. I had a high school chem teacher that I HATED. She always pissed me off. She was so hard-nosed and seemed so unfair and distant. And then - at the end of the year, when I graduated and realized I actually UNDERSTOOD chemistry and could DO chemistry on my own (and ultimately wound up tutoring a lot of people in my college dorm in chemistry), then I realized that she had actually been the GOOD GUY by insisting that we do it ourselves. (She also used to insist on tests that we figure out the correct answer for questions we got wrong, using our textbook and notes.)

Posted by: ricki at March 09, 2007 08:36 AM (O5SYw)

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